Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBC
Community

I will find a loophole...then I'll kill you.

So I did what any man would do. I faked my way into a job teaching Spanish at a community college using phrases from Sesame Street.

Chang: We're going to get frozen yogurt.
Pierce [getting on Chang's scooter]: I'm not gay man, they close in seven minutes.
Troy: I could have driven you.
Chang: You said he hated froyo.
Pierce: Just drive!
Troy: Slut!

Looks like the law from of Slumdog and Seacrest is taking the day off.

Pierce: What's the matter? Mama Chang didn't breast feed?
Chang: "She read in a book that it wouldn't make a difference.

I am a man who can never die! And this has been your first taste of Spanish one-oh-dos, the semester I get inside your cabezas.

Chang: I have finished grading everyone's finals and all of you are moving on.... except for Jeff. Turns out you, pause for dramatic effect, will be seing me next semester.
Annie: Nooooo!
Chang: In Spanish 102! Because he passed and I'm the only Spanish teacher.
Annie: Yay! I meant about Jeff passing. You being our Spanish teacher? Eh.

Chang [about ex-wife]: You make no mistake about this, Winger. I pleasured that woman greatly.
Jeff: Yeah. You look like you would have to. I'm not surprised you said that.

Senor Chang: Pickled bull testicle?
Jeff: Are you offering or collecting?

Jeff: Are you going to the faculty party? Make me your plus one
Senor Chang: Give it up, Winger. Professor Slater doesn't date students... or married asians that drive mopeds

Professor Duncan [to Señor Chang in shower]: I'm sorry, do you mind if we have this conversation in a room less with balls? [to naked man in shower]: Though i must say you're very comfortable
Señor Chang: You shouldn't be

Professor Duncan: Not to be all particular, but you're not a professor
Señor Chang: Maybe because I don't look like Ron Weasley
Professor Duncan: That's the reason, that's the qualifying factor

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 38 in total

Community Quotes

A switch is a stick she can use to whoop you with. Cherish, Britta. Cherish.

Troy

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]
x Close Ad