Shane: Do you think I'm weird?
Judah: Totally weird, but you're awesome. Αnd I wouldn't trade you in for any other almost-10-year-old on earth.
Shane: What if there's life on other planets and there's an unbelievable, amazing 10-year old out there?
Judah: Why would I trade now? To me, you're the best dude, you are the amazing unbelievable Shane Botwin.

Shane Botwin: Can we go home now, please?
Nancy: It's not even halftime.
Shane: I don't feel well. I think I have rickets.

Nancy: (sees Shane get knocked down on soccer field) Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?!
Celia: Well, technically, Nancy, the Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.

Mr. Sandusky: Hello Shane. Doing your reading?
Shane: Mister Sandusky, er, did you actually read the Kiterunner before you assigned it?
Mr. Sandusky: I did, I thought you guys can handle it. Can you handle it, Shane? 'Cause it seems like you can handle a lot. You're such a multi-tasker.
Shane: I don't know what you're talking about.
Mr. Sandusky: Sure you do.
Shane: No, I don't.
Mr. Sandusky: Shane, I have 23 papers to grade tonight, they're all on Anne Frank. Do you know how depressing that is?

Shane: You stuck your penis inside my mother at least once.
Nancy: Ok, then. Good night, Shane. Go upstairs.

Nancy [talking about the ring from Esteban]: You notice anything different? about my hand?
Shane: Oh yeah. he said he was going to ask you.
Nancy: He told you?
Shane: We had an hombre to hombre talk... much respect... I'm cool

Nancy: You're guzzling coffee?
Shane: Ignacio says it puts hair on you chest
Nancy: Right and spinach gives you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo

Shane: Why don't you sell something people want.
Celia: Like what?
Shane: Like drugs.

Silas [about baby Botwin]: He's kind of cute
Shane: Who cares? He's probably just gonna want to play soccer

Shane: Shane: Aaargh! Fuck you, fuck your mom in the ass with a screwdriver.

Shane: Do you ever go back to right after dad died and wish you could do things differently?
Nancy: I try not to.
Shane: I do. All the time.

Shane: I got sent to the school shrink. They'll probably be calling you.
Nancy: Oh, not again, why this time.
Shane: I wrote a gangsta rap about killing Devon Rensler ... with my gatt.