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Shane: How the hell are we going to sell has to a kids concert?
Silas: Actually, this will be okay.

Shane: What happened to your arm?
Doug: I dropped my keys in a porto potty. There was a raccoon in there. I punched it out.

Nancy: What's that smell?
Shane: Stevie.
Nancy: Ugh. Go change him.
Shane: I always change him.
Nancy: No, I sometimes do, don't I?
Shane: Do you even know what size diapers he wears?

(to Nancy) Can I drive it at least once before you set it on fire? Please! I've been kidnapped.

Silas: Shane, get over yourself. No one cares.
Shane: You're just jealous.
Silas: Of what?
Shane: That mom likes me more now.

Shane: Una navaja.
Nancy: Oh Shane, no more Spanish.

Ignacio: You're hands are shaking. You're not going to shoot me.
Shane: He's right, you're not going to shoot him. But you don't have to.
Ignacio: You're going to put a bullet in me mijo?
Shane: What do you think?

Shane: Are you eating your napkin?
Doug: No (he is).

Mom, the f**kers got me.

Shane: Cat like reflexes.
Silas: Perfect considering you're a total pussy.
Shane: Tell that to Pilar.

(to the SAHMs) Don't fuck with me bitches.

Try not to get arrested today, okay?

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 61 in total