(to Nancy) Can I drive it at least once before you set it on fire? Please! I've been kidnapped.

Silas: Shane, get over yourself. No one cares.
Shane: You're just jealous.
Silas: Of what?
Shane: That mom likes me more now.

Shane: Una navaja.
Nancy: Oh Shane, no more Spanish.

Ignacio: You're hands are shaking. You're not going to shoot me.
Shane: He's right, you're not going to shoot him. But you don't have to.
Ignacio: You're going to put a bullet in me mijo?
Shane: What do you think?

Shane: Are you eating your napkin?
Doug: No (he is).

Mom, the f**kers got me.

Shane: Cat like reflexes.
Silas: Perfect considering you're a total pussy.
Shane: Tell that to Pilar.

(to the SAHMs) Don't fuck with me bitches.

Try not to get arrested today, okay?

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