South Park

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South park

Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?

Shake Weight, you're not really work out equipment, are you?

Dr. Chinstrap: If they don't, it'll be the end of Europe as we know it.
Sharon: Why?
Dr. Chinstrap: Because.

Sharon: Just because an idea is over convoluted and complex doesn't make it cool. Going into multiple dream levels sounds like a really stupid idea.
Cobb: You don't get it because you're not smart enough.

Principal: Hello, boys.
Stan: Wait, what's going on here?
Kyle: Alright look, we don't know for sure why Cartman is ditching school, but it has something to do with abortions.That's all we know.
Mr. Mackey: You didn't do anything wrong, boys; We just need to talk to you. Have a seat.
(Stan and Kyle sit down)
Mr. Mackey: Well boys, your little friend, Kenny, went to the hospital last night, m'kay? And well...he's pretty sick.
Kyle: Kenny's sick?
Stan: Well, how sick?
Chef: Children, Kenny has been diagnosed with a terminal disease.
Stan: But the doctor's are gonna make him better, right?
Sharon: Oh, dear.
Stan But mom, that's what hospitals are for, they can make him better.
Sharon: Oh, Randy.
Randy: They don't think so, Stanley. Your friend is terminally ill, and that means--well son...that means he's gonna be going to Heaven soon.
Kyle: Wait, Kenny's going to die?
Gerald: He might, Kyle.
Stan: But he's our f-f-friend.
Mr. Mackey: We know, and that's why he's going to need you boys to be strong for him, m'kay? He needs you now, more then ever.
Stan: No! This can't happen! Kenny can't die! Kenny can't die!
(Stan begins sobbing into his dad's shoulder)

Mr. Garrison: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares.
Guys: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Jimbo: But then you had us all do all that for nothing, don't you see if you get rich selling these homes then there'd still be rich people in South Park.
Randy Marsh: Yeah, you'll become what you hate.
Mr. Garrison:........Yeah but at least I got rid of all those damn ni[South Park ending theme]

Sharon: Okay, boys, that's it. You have to go now.
Stan: No no, it's okay, Mom. We, we can't go to baseball practice 'cause Kyle has cancer.

Sharon: Stanley, what the hell are you doing?
Stan: I'm beating off the dog.

Sharon: Stanley, do you know why we grounded you for a month?
Stan: No.
Randy: Beating off the dog is never appropriate when we have company over. (glances at Sharon) I mean EVER! Beating off the dog is never appropriate ever!

Shelly: Mom, what's up dad's ass?
Sharon: It's a long story, Shelly. Let's just say you father has a lot up his ass right now.

Sharon: Hey Stan, I bought you more of that all natural toothpaste.
Stan: You mean that stuff that's taste like ass and doesn't fight cavities?
Sharon: Yup.

Close your eyes and cover your ears Billy! Remember you're a man!

Grandpa Marsh
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 26 in total

South Park Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron
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