Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Gentlemen, please. Leonard is trying to walk a mile in my metaphorical shoes. He can't walk in my actual shoes. He has the feet of a toddler.
How those nipples feeling, chief?
- Permalink: How those nipples feeling, chief?
How about this? I promise I won't pester you about the DVD. You can defecate in peace. That's a win for both of us. Until this matter is resolved, I would like you to wear this sweater ... with nothing underneath it.
Leonard: I'm gonna show you what's in the box, but just ... promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? It's a spider.
Penny: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.
- Permalink: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.
I've been informed that he's now Bill Nye the Restraining Order Guy.
- Permalink: I've been informed that he's now Bill Nye the Restraining Order Guy.
Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.
- Permalink: Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.
Sheldon: No, go ahead, say it. I know what it is. I've heard it my whole life. The word's "annoying." Go ahead, say it. Say it. Say I'm annoying.
Sheldon: Oh, it won't hurt my feelings. Go ahead, Amy, say I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying.
And, not just on the cheek. On the mouth ... like mommies and daddies do.
- Permalink: And, not just on the cheek. On the mouth ... like mommies and da...
Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. I mean, once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: You know, frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
- Permalink: Buddy, I don't think you can. I mean, once it's out there, it's...
Amy: So you just got lucky?
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper doesn't get lucky.
Amy: You and me both.
- Permalink: So you just got lucky? Sheldon Cooper doesn't get lucky. You...
I feel like my mind just made a baby. And, it's beautiful. It's not like human babies which are loud and covered in goop.
- Permalink: I feel like my mind just made a baby. And, it's beautiful. It's ...
Amy: Sheldon, you're not a weirdo.
Sheldon: I wasn't speaking about me.
- Permalink: Sheldon, you're not a weirdo. I wasn't speaking about me.
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.