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The-big-bang-theory

Penny: You know what the worst part is?
Sheldon: That you're having to process your emotional pain without vodka?
Penny: No. Yeah....

Penny: I cannot believe we were missing that jerk.
Sheldon: You were.

Penny: I'm calling him.
Sheldon: Oh, goodie! Put him on speaker phone.

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.

It did not kill me when you went to space. Monkeys went to space.

Penny: Oh gosh, Sheldon, the genius, is jealous of Leonard.
Sheldon: I'm not jealous. I'm just very unhappy that good things are happening for him and not happening for me.

Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face.

Sheldon: Things between you and Penny have never been better. I hope 4 months apart doesn't change anything.
Leonard stops car.
Sheldon: I should have opened with that, huh?

Who do you think would win in a fight -- you or a shark?

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