The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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This is more like Little House of the Preposterous.

That's strange since peanut butter wasn't introduced until the early 1900s. If I knew this show was about time travel, I would have watched it much sooner.

Sheldon: You've spent time with Amy. Can you think of anything she's fond of that has a bunch of flaws she hasn't noticed?
Leonard: I've gotta go.

Raj: Wait. How can anyone ruin Raiders? It's perfect.
Sheldon: Yeah, except for the fact that Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the story. With or without him the Nazi's find the ark, open it and die.

Amy: ... if he weren't in the movie, the Nazis would have still found the ark, taken it to the island, opened it up and all died ... just like they did.
Sheldon: [jaw dropped]
Amy: Let me close that for you.

Amy: When you told me I was going to be "losing my virginity," I didn't think you meant you'd be showing me Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time.
Sheldon: My apologies. I chose my words poorly. I should have said you were about to have your world rocked on my couch.

Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!

Penny: Oh it's a blowing alley.
Sheldon: Yes. My brain is better than everybody [holds up bowling ball].

Penny: "50 cents off Vagisil"
Sheldon: Think of me when you apply it.

Sheldon: Careful, Amy. The friend of my enemy's girlfriend is my enemy.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: Yes. You're either with me or against me.
Amy: Do you want to take the bus to work?
Sheldon: Maybe there's a third option.

Sheldon: Now I think I hear kissing.
Amy: Like you know what kissing sounds like.
Sheldon: There's kissing in Star Trek, smarty-pants.

Sheldon: Amy, there were Chinese food containers ... in the trash can.
Amy: Poor Leonard.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 760 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon