The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Leonard: Come on, Sheldon. It will be fun.
Sheldon: That's what you said about the Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong.
Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.
Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year, wasn't everything in there?
I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.
I look like the Flash about to be married.
A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them.
Raj: Oh, oh, what about the tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic-Con?
Howard: Don't remember. Please sit down.
Raj: The only threesome I've ever had in my whole life and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.
[All laughing]
Raj: Oh, oh, don't get me wrong, nothing happened with me and Howard. There was about 200 lbs of Sailor Moon between us.
Wil [recording on his phone]: Oh, Internet, this is so going all over you.
Sheldon: Jeepers, I'm drunk.
Jeepers! That's yucky.
Stephen Hawking: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite a boner.
Sheldon: No, no ... that can't be right. I-I don't make arithmetic mistakes.
Stephen Hawking: Are you saying I do?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. It's just, I was thinking.... Oh, gosh, golly, I made a boo-boo and I gave it to Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Great, another fainter.
Sheldon: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.
Stephen Hawking: I know.
Howard: No ... about my job. I want you to tell me I'm good at what I do.
Sheldon: You're obviously good at what you do.
Howard: Well, then why are you always ripping on me?
Sheldon: Oh, I understand the confusion. I have never said that you are not good at what you do, it's just that what you do is not worth doing.
Howard's mother: It's this dress. When I put my front in, my back pops out. When I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon: What do you want me to do?
Howard's mother: We're going to have to work as a team. Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing.
