The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Dr. Plimpton: What if there's a disaster that destroys all of the USB ports?
Sheldon: Then there's really no reason to live, is there?

Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."

I have a lady friend who will be staying with me for a few days. I want her to feel at home; I also bought scented soaps, pantyhose, Midol, calcium chews, and what is apparently a yogurt specifically designed to regulate the female bowel.

Leonard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Leonard: Yes, but mixed with a little bit of concern.

And now, as promised, the tangent. Sheldon and the Hell-hound. Or. How I Lost My Hot Dogs.

Allegiance to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.

Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.

It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate to think that effort to be in vain.

Sheldon: This is for you
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I've been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip, "Cathy." when she's upset she says, "ack" and eats ice cream.
Penny: Ack.
Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would have brought you lasagna.

Sheldon: Enjoy the accolades now, Wil Wheaton. But like your time on Star Trek: The Next Generation, your smug self-satisfaction will be short-lived.

A common spare. The Miss Congeniality of the Bowling Pageant.

Displaying quotes 493 - 504 of 727 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

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