The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.
That was an experiment to determine at what concentration does food start tasting moth-y.
And to think! I was ready to waste the last of my good hemorrhoid cream on you!
Leonard: You put moths in my food!?
Sheldon: For science.
You're far too short to be Darth Vader. You're much more likely to be a turncoat Ewok.
Leonard: You know what happens when you yawn in public...
Sheldon: Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvela.
Raj: Hands off my sister.
Sheldon: Why would I touch her? She's covered in airplane germs.
Sheldon: I assure you I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
Mrs. Fowler: What?
Sheldon: Oh yes, we are like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.
Sheldon: I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned about your well-being.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: You're welcome. But it's still no reason to have your feet in my spot.
Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.
Sheldon: Why on earth are you telling me all this?
Leonard: Sometimes you movements are so lifelike I forget you're not a real boy.
Leonard: Why would you want a glow-in-the-dark ant farm?
Sheldon: They do some of their best work at night.
