Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Leonard: What do you mean, you're moving out? Why?
Sheldon: There doesn't have to be a reason.
Leonard: Yeah, there kinda does.
Sheldon: Not necessarily. This is a classic example of Münchhausen's Trilemma. Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression, or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements, or it's ultimately circular, i.e. I'm moving out because I'm moving out.
Leonard: I'm still confused.
Sheldon: Leonard, I don't see how I could have made it any simpler

Penny: Has [Leonard] ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
Sheldon: Oh, well, a few years ago, he did go out with someone who had a Ph.D. in French Literature.
Penny: How is that not a brainiac?
Sheldon: Well, for one thing, she was French. For another, it was literature

Howard. You do not have a PhD. Your cologne is an assault on the senses, and you're not available for video games during the Jewish high holidays

What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?

A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary

Sheldon [looking at the women's book in a bookstore]: "Coping with the Death of a Loved One." My condolences
Woman: Thank you
Sheldon: Family or friend?
Woman: Family
Sheldon: Too bad. If it had been a friend, I'm available to fill the void

Wolowitz: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Wolowitz: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me

Penny: Leonard isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.
Sheldon: Leonard isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with

Leonard: I don't think I can go out with [Penny] tonight.
Sheldon: Then don't.
Leonard: Other people would say, "Why not?"
Sheldon: Other people might be interested

Leonard: Why are you learning Chinese?
Sheldon: I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off orange chicken as tangerine chicken, and I intend to confront them.
Leonard: If I were you, I'd be more concerned with what they're passing off as chicken

Penny: I was just wondering if I could talk to you. It's about Leonard.
Sheldon: Why me? Why not Koothrappali or Wolowitz?
Penny: Well, Raj can't talk to me unless he is drunk, and Wolowitz is, you know, disgusting

Leonard: Now that I'm actually about to go out with Penny, I'm not excited, I'm nauseous.
Sheldon: Then your meal choice is appropriate. Starch absorbs fluid which reduces the amount of vomit available for violent expulsion

Displaying quotes 601 - 612 of 703 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

x Close Ad