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Sheldon: How am I going to get to work?
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: Oh, I can't take the bus anymore. They don't have seatbelts, and they won't
let you lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords.
Leonard: You tried to lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords?
Sheldon: I didn't try; I succeeded.

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you Sheldon, but not that

Leonard: It wouldn't kill us to meet new people.
Sheldon: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people

Leonard: If we do get a new friend, he should be a guy you can trust. You know, a guy who has your back.
Wolowitz: And he should have a lot of money and live in a cool place down by the beach where we could throw parties.
Sheldon: And he should share our love of technology.
Wolowitz: And he should know a lot of women.
Leonard: Okay, let's see: money, women, technology. Okay, we're agreed. Our new friend is going to be Iron Man

Penny: What's AFK?
Sheldon: Away From Keyboard.
Penny: Oh, I see.
Sheldon: What does that stand for?

Penny: Oh, my God, a treasure chest. I'm rich!
Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich, what a noob.

Raj [to Leonard]: What about Leslie Winkle?
Sheldon: Oh, no.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Her research methodology is sloppy, she's unjustifiably arrogant about loop quantum gravity, and to make matters worse, she's often mean to me

Everybody has a date. Even you Mario, going after Princess Peach. What am I doing? I'm just enabling you.

Sheldon: Why should I leave? This is my apartment, too.
Leonard: I know it is. And if science ever discovers a second member of your species, and you two would like some privacy, I'll be more than happy to get out of your way

Leonard: How could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
Sheldon: They were clever, Leonard. They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing

Sheldon: You're asking me to keep a secret?
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Well, I'm sorry, but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret, so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret-keeping. You can't impose a secret on an ex post facto basis.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: Secret-keeping is a complicated endeavor. One has to be concerned not only about what one says, but about facial expressions, autonomic reflexes. When I try to deceive, I myself have more nervous tics then a Lyme disease research facility.... It's a joke. It relies on the homonymic relationship between "tick," the bloodsucking arachnid, and "tic," the involuntary muscular contraction. I made it up myself

Sheldon: So, you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences?
Penny: Well, yeah.
Sheldon: Interesting. One more question—and perhaps I should have led with this—when did we become friends?

Displaying quotes 601 - 612 of 715 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon
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