Sheldon: I asked myself what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable and three answers came to mind: a toll booth employees, an Apple store genius, and what penny does. Because I don't like touch other peoples' coins and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am.

Bozeman does have a comedy club called the Loony Bin. Please don't forward my mail there.

Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna.

I do not have to urinate. I am a master of my own bladder. Drat.

The four of you are three of my closest friends, and one treasured acquaintance.

My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.

I'm not crazy; my mother had me tested.

Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the "mobster sauce" couldn't possibly contain chunks of mobster.
Leonard: And why is that?
Sheldon: It was listed under "Seafood."
Leonard: Maybe they were mobsters who "slept with the fishes."

I disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, and now I thought I'd learn Finnish.

If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?

Raj: Come on, let's get a drink.
Sheldon: I don't drink.
Raj: Well I do, and when my wingman is carrying a Green Lantern lantern, I drink a lot.

Sheldon: I'm sorry Raj, I have no desire to salute any article of clothing tonight, much less one that's linked to race riots in the 1940s.
Raj: Race Riots?
Sheldon: The "Zoot Suit Riots?"
Raj: Ohhhh. I always thought that was some sort of after-Christmas sale.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.