Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Wolowitz: Oh, more details about the new Star Trek film. There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth.
Raj: I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.
Sheldon: Oh, please. For Vulcans, matingâ€”or if you will, pon farrâ€”it's an extremely private matter.
Leonard: Still, I'd like to know the details. His mother was human; his father was Vulcan. They couldn't just conceive.
Wolowitz: Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's dad in a little room with a copy of Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears?
- Permalink: Oh, more details about the new Star Trek film. There's going to ...
Sheldon: I notice you're using titanium. Did you give any consideration to carbon nanotubes? They're lighter, cheaper, and have twice the tensile strength.
Wolowitz: Sheldon, there is a diploma in my office that says I have a masters in engineering.
Sheldon: And you also have a note from your mother that says, "I love you, bubulah," but neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nanotubes
- Permalink: I notice you're using titanium. Did you give any consideration t...
Sheldon: 15 years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old and he's already correcting my work. Today I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart toâ€”you knowâ€”that other guy.
Wolowitz: Antonio Salieri.
Sheldon: Oh, God, now even you're smarter than me.
- Permalink: 15 years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old and he's already corre...
Sheldon: In Texas, when a cow stops giving milk, they don't continue feeding her. They take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk?
- Permalink: In Texas, when a cow stops giving milk, they don't continue feed...
Leonard: You always knew that someday someone would come along who was younger and smarter.
Sheldon: Yes, but I assumed I would have been dead hundreds of years and that there'd be an asterisk next to his name because he'd be a cyborg
- Permalink: You always knew that someday someone would come along who was yo...
Engineering, where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream
- Permalink: Engineering, where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision ...
Sheldon: What happens if you use argon lasers instead of helium-neon?
Leonard: It would blow up!
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Leonard: Pretty sure...
Sheldon: Pretty sure? It's not very scientific. Is this how you normally work? Just hunches and guesses and stuff?
- Permalink: What happens if you use argon lasers instead of helium-neon? I...
Sheldon: Here's the problem with teleportation.
Leonard: Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Assuming a device could be invented, which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly. You would not have actually transported the individual, you would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another.
Leonard: How about that.
Sheldon: Personally, I would never use a transporter because the original Sheldon would have to be dissintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.
Leonard: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?
Sheldon: No, he would be exactly the same.
Leonard: That is a problem
- Permalink: Here's the problem with teleportation. Lay it on me. Assumin...
Ladies and gentlemen... honored daughters... while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivety, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. Thank you
- Permalink: Ladies and gentlemen... honored daughters... while Mr. Kim, by v...
Leonard: You speak English really well.
Dennis: So do you... except for your tendency to end sentences with prepositions.
Leonard: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: He's not wrong
- Permalink: You speak English really well. So do you... except for your te...
The local cuisine was a little more sausage-based than I'm used to, and the result was an internal blitzkrieg, with my lower intestine playing the part of Czechoslovakia
- Permalink: The local cuisine was a little more sausage-based than I'm used ...
[at The Cheesecake Factory]
Penny: Why didn't you just have soup at home?
Sheldon: Penny, I have an IQ of 187. Don't you imagine if there were a way for me to have soup at home, I would have thought of it?
Penny: You can have soup delivered.
Sheldon: I did not think of that
- Permalink: Why didn't you just have soup at home? Penny, I have an IQ of ...
Want more The Big Bang Theory?
Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!