The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to.

Penny: So what do you think.
Sheldon: A tad asymmetrical but nothing to be worried about.

I have two Ph. D's but somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal.

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look.
Sheldon: It doesn't matter. This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Some kind of dirty magic show.

And turn the bedroom floor into a amniotic slip and slide

Sheldon: The second I go out of town you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kind of.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.

Penny: Oh, that's great. You're gonna be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No. I'll be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

Amy: It's a beautiful night. Why don't you and I go for a nice walk together?
Sheldon: Everything is just sex with you, isn't it?
Raj: Sheldon, I think you might find the support you're looking for, if you realize that relationships are a give and take. She can only be there for you as much as you are for her.
Amy: Thank you, Rajesh.
Raj: And, Amy, you need to be patient with Sheldon, instead of pressuring him to accept intimacy on your terms.
Amy: You should probably go.

Sheldon: Well, I'm not just some trained monkey dancing for coins.
Leonard: Of course not. People love trained monkeys.

I just vomited on a lot of clowns.

Bernadette's Dad: Hey, Sheldon, what do you say we go outside and throw around the old pigskin.
Sheldon: This is a Jewish house. I don't think they have pigskins.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Did someone say "pigskin"?

She's so tiny. It's funny when she's mad.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 727 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

× Close Ad