Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

How about this? I promise I won't pester you about the DVD. You can defecate in peace. That's a win for both of us. Until this matter is resolved, I would like you to wear this sweater ... with nothing underneath it.

Leonard: I'm gonna show you what's in the box, but just ... promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? It's a spider.
Penny: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.

I've been informed that he's now Bill Nye the Restraining Order Guy.

Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.

Sheldon: No, go ahead, say it. I know what it is. I've heard it my whole life. The word's "annoying." Go ahead, say it. Say it. Say I'm annoying.
Amy: Sheldon...
Sheldon: Oh, it won't hurt my feelings. Go ahead, Amy, say I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying. I'm annoying.

And, not just on the cheek. On the mouth ... like mommies and daddies do.

Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. I mean, once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: You know, frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
Sheldon: No.

Amy: So you just got lucky?
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper doesn't get lucky.
Amy: You and me both.

I feel like my mind just made a baby. And, it's beautiful. It's not like human babies which are loud and covered in goop.

Amy: Sheldon, you're not a weirdo.
Sheldon: I wasn't speaking about me.

Oh, please. I'm your boyfriend. You call me Sheldon. That's right. I'm in a relationship with this cute little lump of wool. It's a physical relationship, too. Hand-holding, hugging ... even on hot days.

Ah, Sweden. Yeah, home of my favorite Muppet and, uh, second favorite meatball.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 703 in total

TBBT Quotes

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

x Close Ad