Raj: Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses?
Sheldon: I brought my own. No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes.
Raj: Is that a real thing?
Sheldon: Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out.

Penny: There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bisexual go-go dancer slowly transforming into a killer gorilla
anyone's ever seen.
Leonard: I don't know. The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List is tough to beat.
Sheldon: Ah, very good. Because a gorilla go-go dancer
of any sexual preference would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
Leonard: It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I know.

Sheldon: But I do appreciate them.
Arthur: Well, then, what am I doing in the swamp dressed like Friar Tuck? Appreciate them, Sheldon.

All the men I've looked up to have gone away.

I've already had to say goodbye to 11 Doctor Whos.

Arthur: Most-most of my robes open ... in the back.
Sheldon:Those are your Jedi robes.
Arthur: What is this?
Sheldon: Oh! Be careful with that.
Arthur: Whoa! Oh, neato. [laughs] I'm-I'm gonna need a Band-Aid.

Sheldon: You've come to me because you're my Obi-Wan.
Arthur: I'm-I'm not ... I'm not familiar with that. Is... is-is that an ... internet.
Sheldon: Wow. You're dead so I'll let that slide.

Sheldon: Arthur! I thought you were dead.it's fantastic.
Arthur: I am. Oh, it-it's fantastic. I mean this is the longest that I've gone without running into a men's room in-in years.

Sheldon: When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?
Penny: No. He blew up the Death Star. Why do I know this?!

Sheldon: Amy, mourning the inevitable is a complete waste of time.
Amy: And watching a bunch of goody space movies you've seen hundreds of times isn't?
Sheldon: If we were in a physical relationship, you just lost sex tonight.

Professor Proton is dead?

You know what this is? Yeah, and I reserve this word for those rare instances when it's truly deserved. This is malarkey!

TBBT Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

Penny: I give up, he's impossible
Sheldon: I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable."