The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXSideshow Bob Quotes
Sideshow Bob: Bart, I must know. How did you untangle my web?
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, Bart, pull us in!
Bart: Well, I'd hate to tell the number one cop in town how to do his job.
Chief Wiggum: No, no, please. It's the only way I'll learn.
Selma: And here's another breathtaking sight... my brand new hubby!
Sideshow Bob: I wanted a room with a fireplace you blasted monkey... Oh Selma dear... I was just chatting with my good friend... Dennis! Now, smile for the camera, there's a good lad!
Sideshow Bob: Ah, Mr. Simpson, you're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha.
Homer: I am not!
Sideshow Bob: Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
Apu: Yes, yes. I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.
Sideshow Bob: Bart, children, this whole sordid affair has been a shock to all of us. But we must get on with our lives. Let's try to remember Krusty, not as a hardened criminal, but as that loveable jester who honked his horn and puttered around in his little car.
Bart: And shot you out of a cannon.
Sideshow Bob: And shot me out of a cannon. Yes, we will never forget that, will we?
My young friends, for years I have been silent, save for the crude glissandos of this primitive wind instrument. (Holds up slide whistle.) But now, destiny has thrust me into the center ring. In the coming weeks, you will notice some rather sweeping changes in our program. Please do not be alarmed. Itchy and Scratchy will still have a home here. But we will also learn about nutrition, self-esteem, etiquette, and all the lively arts.
