Sock Quotes (Page 5)
Season 1, Episode 16: "Greg Schmeg"
Sock: Chicks do not want sensitive, okay? They want a bad boy. They want someone who is going to break all the rules. Someone who will bang them on the back of a motorcycle and then not do the dishes
• Rating: Unrated
Ben: Think about it, Sam. Women don't always tell you when you screw up. They like to give non verbal clues.
Sock: i.e., making out with another dude
• Rating: Unrated
Ben: Was his face made up of human skin like in The Texas Chainsaw?
Andi: Ben, everybody's face is made of human skin.
Sock: That is so true
• Rating: Unrated
Gladys: I'm going to Acapulco next week, and I need someone to watch over my cat.
Sock: Okay, by cat do you mean cat, or do you mean some kind of dragon?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 15: "Coming to Grips"
Sock [about Sam telling Andi about his duties]: How'd it go?
Sam: Where the Hell were you guys? I was dying over there. She didn't believe any of it.
Sock: Sorry. I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.
Ben: My wife called
• Rating: Unrated
Sock: Did you hook up with Sara?
Ben: No, no. I... no! I just... got married.
Sock: What the Hell are you talking about?
Ben: She needed a green card and I felt sorry for her, okay? And look, it just happened all really quickly.
Sam: Yeah, so she's living here now?
Ben: Just for a little while, you know. Just to make it look real.
Sock: You are too stupid to exist!
Ben: Why? I like Sara. I think she's great. I think she'd make an excellent citizen, and she paid me 1,600 bucks.
Sock: You know, I take it all back, buddy. That is awesome. That is outstanding. She is beautiful! Beautiful! We got married!
• Rating: Unrated
Sock [filling out fake application forms]: What college did you attend?
Sam: Harvard.
Sock: I went to Oxford.
Sam: Yeah, but I also went to Yale Medical School
Sock: I research alternate power sources.
Sam: I have a 4-foot vertical leap
• Rating: Unrated
Sock: Now listen to me, Ben. I'm going to spit some scientific fact at you. The longer most men are in a relationship, the happier they get. The opposite is true for the lady folk, okay? So we would just like to see you happy making a woman miserable, like we're both doing
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 14: "Rebellion"
Josie: For the record, I dated you because you're sweet, you don't care what other people think, and you made me laugh.
Sock: I am all of those things. So, ummm... wanna make out?
• Rating: Unrated
Ted: But she did call me over to her place tonight to help her hook up her DVR. And I think we all know what that means.
Sock: Yeah, that means she wants you to hook up her DVR.
Ted: No, hooking up any appliance is classic gay porn terminology for getting it on. And I'm pretty sure that that translates over to the hetero arena
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 124








