The Office

Stanley Hudson Quotes (Page 3)

Michael: David Wallace and I have talked and we have decided to promote Jim to the position of co-manager.
Stanley: Co-manager of what?
Michael: Of ... your butt!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hey Stanley, where you going big guy? Up to no good?
Stanley: I'm meeting a client, do you have a problem with that?
Michael: No, no, no, no. I just had a quick question for you, I am casting a movie and I'm looking for a woman who can dance, a beautiful woman. Do you know anybody?
Stanley: Goodbye.
Michael: Oh my God! Wait a second, do people often say they're going on sales calls and then go someplace else? Because that's not cool.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stanley: I usually don't enjoy the theater, but this is delightful.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: So from the bottom of my heart to the top of my heart, I am sorry.
Stanley: Are you giving us our clients back?
Michael: If we could just focus and go down the line, and everyone would say, "apology accepted," I think we would all feel better. And then we can break out my gift to you - complimentary white chocolate bark.
Stanley: Nobody likes that stuff except for you.
Michael: They wouldn't make it unless people liked it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients?
Stanley: It's not right. I don't like it.
Dwight: He doesn't like it.
Phyllis: You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [sighs] No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty.
Dwight: Her face is okay, but-- Jesus! What --what are you doing here?
Meredith: I don't know. I saw a crowd. I thought there might be a dogfight or something--
Dwight: Get out! We need to do something. I'm thinking maybe a coup or we take Ryan hostage.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Fresh hot ink.
Stanley: "New File System."
Dwight: Trust me, Stanley, you're going to want to read this memo very carefully.
Stanley: I am not changing the way I do my files.
Dwight: No, no. This goes for all of you. Believe me, you are going to want to heat my words.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Oscar, what were you going to say?
Oscar: Nothing. I didn't say anything.
Michael: All right.
Erin: Do I still have a job here?
Michael: Not important. Okay, alright. Yes. Yes, you have a job. Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam are starting with us as salesmen.
Dwight: Wait, what?
Stanley: How is that going to work?
Michael: It's going to work very smoothly, because Pam and Ryan are bringing over a ton of clients from Michael Scott Paper Company and--
Phyllis: You mean the clients you stole from us.
Dwight: Yeah, aren't we getting those clients back?
Michael: No, you lost those clients.
Andy: I call foul, sir.
Michael: Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charles: In the last month we have lost ten major clients to Michael Scott.
Stanley: What are we supposed to do? They keep undercutting us on price.
Charles: I don't want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. This is unacceptable.
Andy: Hey, Boss. Uh, I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.
Charles: Why are you telling me this?
Andy: I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Charles: Is this something you really want to have said?
Andy: I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Charles: So, we had a personnel change today. Shouldn't effect our day to day. But, until we get a new receptionist I want Kevin on the phones.
Kevin: Phones?
Charles: Also, there has been too much wasted time. So Stanley.
Stanley: Yes.
Charles: Yeah, I want you to be on top of that okay? I want you to be my productivity czar. Okay, good. Uh, okay that it on my list. So uh, you know, no excuses guys. Lets get going okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: [from inside the restroom] Stanley?
Stanley: Can't you see I'm urinating?
Michael: Listen, Listen, Stanley. You don't have to answer me now.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Just... I want you to think about it, I'm starting my own company.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Oh... okay, you're not letting me finish, and you just lost out on a million dollars.
Stanley: No I didn't.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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