The Office

Stanley Hudson Quotes (Page 4)

Jim: Okay, so all we need is a theme... and cups, and ice, and punch, and a cake.
Dwight: Busy!
Jim: Hey, what's that show that she's always talking about?
Dwight: Oh, my God. Is this how you are with Pam? 'Cause she must want to shoot herself in the face.
Jim: You know what? I could use a little help.
Dwight: You know what? I'm a little busy.
Jim: We have a lot to do, and you are... putting up a very effeminate sign. Is that what you've been doing, is making a sign?
Dwight: It's not effeminate. It's festive.
Jim: You've been making that sign, for something that we could just announce to the whole office? Hey everybody, the party's now at 3!
Stanley: I know, I just read it on the sign.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: Are you out of your damn mind?
Andy: Are you out of your damn mind? You bring an angel like that into this office, and you don't even set me up with her.
Stanley: We're not friends. I didn't think about it.
Andy: We are friends. Stanley, we're friends. And you let me down.
Stanley: You really like her, huh?
Andy: Yeah. I really like her with all my heart.
Stanley: Give me two clients for her.
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Julia: I can't accept these prices, Stanley. They just cut our budget.
Andy: Brought you guys some coffees. Stanley, I know you have adult onset diabetes. So I put Splenda in yours. Let's see. How many did I put in there? [starts singing to the tune of Feist's "1-2-3-4"] One, Two, Three, Four Splenda's in your coffee, Stanley. None in yours, Julia, cause I don't know how you take it. But if you'd rather...
Stanley: Four Splenda. Are you crazy?
Andy: Well, No, I actually only put in two. But that's not how the song goes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Julia: Oh, this is a nice office.
Stanley: You don't have to lie. Through here.
Andy: Um, Phyllis, who's that?
Phyllis: She's out of your league Andy.
Andy: For your information, I have been with lots of beautiful women.
Phyllis: Sexually?
Andy: This conversation is over.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: We are not always going to be there, to coddle your heart back, when it disappears to be working. What are you going to do when your heart stops?
Stanley: I would die.
Michael: And you're okay with that?
Stanley: I'm okay with the logic of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: A throne for thy highness!
Stanley: I'm not sitting in a wheelchair.
Michael: No no no. No debate. You are going to sit in that wheelchair until you're back on your feet.
Stanley: [to camera] I'm going to die.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: It's true. Around this office in the past I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: I am trying to be more optimistic in life. I've got what, 20 or 30 years left. And my family history says I have less. Now, the old Stanley Hudson would have found something wrong this actress. But that is no way to live life. Look at this healthy sexy pretty strong young woman. C'mon people! She is hot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Each side will have three minutes to prepare opening arguments. Topic: Hillary Swank is attractive.
Entire office: Hot!
Kevin: The debate is whether she is hot.
Stanley: What difference does it make? Attractive, beautiful, hot, we're talking about the same thing here.
Kevin: Huge difference. A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.
Andy: Okay, TMI.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phyllis: You've got no taste Stanley Hudson.
Stanley: Oh, I do.
Andy: What are you guys talking about?
Stanley: Some actress, whether she's hot.
Andy: Who is the gal in question?
Phyllis: Hillary Swank.
Creed: Ah, Hillary Swank.
 • Rating: Unrated

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