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Julia: Oh, this is a nice office.
Stanley: You don't have to lie. Through here.
Andy: Um, Phyllis, who's that?
Phyllis: She's out of your league Andy.
Andy: For your information, I have been with lots of beautiful women.
Andy: This conversation is over.
- Permalink: Oh, this is a nice office. You don't have to lie. Through here...
Michael: We are not always going to be there, to coddle your heart back, when it disappears to be working. What are you going to do when your heart stops?
Stanley: I would die.
Michael: And you're okay with that?
Stanley: I'm okay with the logic of it.
- Permalink: We are not always going to be there, to coddle your heart back, ...
Andy: A throne for thy highness!
Stanley: I'm not sitting in a wheelchair.
Michael: No no no. No debate. You are going to sit in that wheelchair until you're back on your feet.
Stanley: [to camera] I'm going to die.
- Permalink: A throne for thy highness! I'm not sitting in a wheelchair. ...
It's true. Around this office in the past I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.
- Permalink: It's true. Around this office in the past I have been a little a...
I am trying to be more optimistic in life. I've got what, 20 or 30 years left. And my family history says I have less. Now, the old Stanley Hudson would have found something wrong this actress. But that is no way to live life. Look at this healthy sexy pretty strong young woman. C'mon people! She is hot.
- Permalink: I am trying to be more optimistic in life. I've got what, 20 or ...
Andy: Each side will have three minutes to prepare opening arguments. Topic: Hillary Swank is attractive.
Entire office: Hot!
Kevin: The debate is whether she is hot.
Stanley: What difference does it make? Attractive, beautiful, hot, we're talking about the same thing here.
Kevin: Huge difference. A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.
Andy: Okay, TMI.
- Permalink: Hillary Swank is attractive. Hot! The debate is whether she ...
Phyllis: You've got no taste Stanley Hudson.
Stanley: Oh, I do.
Andy: What are you guys talking about?
Stanley: Some actress, whether she's hot.
Andy: Who is the gal in question?
Phyllis: Hillary Swank.
Creed: Ah, Hillary Swank.
- Permalink: You've got no taste Stanley Hudson. Oh, I do. What are you g...
Phyllis: I'm sorry. It's the largest one I have.
Stanley: I will not be the big guy in the tiny hat.
- Permalink: Eh... I'm sorry. It's the largest one I have. I will not be ...
Kevin: Michael, I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that's okay.
Michael: Oh, thank you my dear.
Kelly: Wait, Michael! Let me open the door for you.
Michael: Oh, well, chivalry is not dead after all. Okay...
Stanley: There he is!
Michael: There he is! Hello, hello!
Michael: Hello! Good to see you! Good to see you.
Michael: Mm! [gives Jim a high five] Yeah!
Pam: There's that ass!
Michael: Hey hey! Yeah! Unh!
Pam: Woo! Yeah. Aw, don't take it away!
Michael: Oh... ah, I almost choked.
- Permalink: Okay. Michael, I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that's okay. ...
Jim: How does everyone know already?
Dwight: Know what?
Meredith: Pam failed art school.
Dwight: Oh, well, doesn't surprise me.
Jim: Excuse me?
Dwight: Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Phyllis: Dwight, stop it.
Dwight: What? Are there two suns?
- Permalink: How does everyone know already? Know what? Pam failed art sc...
Andy: So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.
Jan: Well, actually, I, uh, I had a tub birth. And it was really, really quite amazing.
Angela: You gave birth in a tub?
Jan: Yeah, it's a really nice transition from womb to world, you know, kind of like a big womb.
Kelly: Um, so you're in the tub with everything?
Jan: Oh, yeah, the afterbirth floats, yeah.
Creed: Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.
Jan: Oh no, it's actually really hygienic, Creed.
Stanley: I'm done.
- Permalink: So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth. Well...
Holly: Can I have everyone's attention? Excuse me, may I have everyone's attention, please. We need to finish the ethics seminar.
Andy: No way, lady.
Kevin: It's a trap.
Holly: Everyone, please, I just need your signatures to show corporate that I gave you the training.
Meredith: Don't sign anything.
Michael: Ok, everybody listen up. If you are not in that conference room in two minutes I am going to kill you.
Stanley: It's a quarter to five and I have started to gather my things.
- Permalink: Can I have everyone's attention? Excuse me, may I have everyone'...