Charles: In the last month we have lost ten major clients to Michael Scott.
Stanley: What are we supposed to do? They keep undercutting us on price.
Charles: I don't want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. This is unacceptable.
Andy: Hey, Boss. Uh, I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys.
Charles: Why are you telling me this?
Andy: I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Charles: Is this something you really want to have said?
Andy: I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.

Charles: So, we had a personnel change today. Shouldn't effect our day to day. But, until we get a new receptionist I want Kevin on the phones.
Kevin: Phones?
Charles: Also, there has been too much wasted time. So Stanley.
Stanley: Yes.
Charles: Yeah, I want you to be on top of that okay? I want you to be my productivity czar. Okay, good. Uh, okay that it on my list. So uh, you know, no excuses guys. Lets get going okay?

Michael: [from inside the restroom] Stanley?
Stanley: Can't you see I'm urinating?
Michael: Listen, Listen, Stanley. You don't have to answer me now.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Just... I want you to think about it, I'm starting my own company.
Stanley: No.
Michael: Oh... okay, you're not letting me finish, and you just lost out on a million dollars.
Stanley: No I didn't.

Stanley: Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?
Michael: I have a job.
Andy: For four more days.
Pam: Do you have any leads on a job?
Michael: Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
Jim: You called any headhunters?
Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available.

Pam: Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the right people; what happened?
Michael: I looked at Wallace and I said "I quit!" and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said "You have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: Did you tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well, wouldn't it feel good to tell him that he was incompetent?
Kevin: That he's wasted 15 years of your life?
Meredith: Did you spit in his face?
Michael: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.

Charles: Yeah, I will. What I told Michael last week-
Michael: Charles is going to tell you.
Charles: Is that we are cutting three percent across the board, which means we will no longer be matching 401k contributions. All overtime requests will need to come through the corporate office.
Stanley: Fantastic.
Michael: Well, it's not official.
Charles: It is official. It is official. And actually, guys, I'm encouraging branches to consider a freeze on discretionary spending.

Jim: Okay, so all we need is a theme... and cups, and ice, and punch, and a cake.
Dwight: Busy!
Jim: Hey, what's that show that she's always talking about?
Dwight: Oh, my God. Is this how you are with Pam? 'Cause she must want to shoot herself in the face.
Jim: You know what? I could use a little help.
Dwight: You know what? I'm a little busy.
Jim: We have a lot to do, and you are... putting up a very effeminate sign. Is that what you've been doing, is making a sign?
Dwight: It's not effeminate. It's festive.
Jim: You've been making that sign, for something that we could just announce to the whole office? Hey everybody, the party's now at 3!
Stanley: I know, I just read it on the sign.

Stanley: Are you out of your damn mind?
Andy: Are you out of your damn mind? You bring an angel like that into this office, and you don't even set me up with her.
Stanley: We're not friends. I didn't think about it.
Andy: We are friends. Stanley, we're friends. And you let me down.
Stanley: You really like her, huh?
Andy: Yeah. I really like her with all my heart.
Stanley: Give me two clients for her.

Julia: I can't accept these prices, Stanley. They just cut our budget.
Andy: Brought you guys some coffees. Stanley, I know you have adult onset diabetes. So I put Splenda in yours. Let's see. How many did I put in there? [starts singing to the tune of Feist's "1-2-3-4"] One, Two, Three, Four Splenda's in your coffee, Stanley. None in yours, Julia, cause I don't know how you take it. But if you'd rather...
Stanley: Four Splenda. Are you crazy?
Andy: Well, No, I actually only put in two. But that's not how the song goes.

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