The Office

Stanley Hudson Quotes (Page 5)

Stanley: Eh...
Phyllis: I'm sorry. It's the largest one I have.
Stanley: I will not be the big guy in the tiny hat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Okay.
Kevin: Michael, I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that's okay.
Michael: Oh, thank you my dear.
Kelly: Wait, Michael! Let me open the door for you.
Michael: Oh, well, chivalry is not dead after all. Okay...
Stanley: There he is!
Michael: There he is! Hello, hello!
Phyllis: Hello.
Michael: Hello! Good to see you! Good to see you.
Jim: Oh!
Michael: Mm! [gives Jim a high five] Yeah!
Pam: There's that ass!
Michael: Hey hey! Yeah! Unh!
Pam: Woo! Yeah. Aw, don't take it away!
Michael: Oh... ah, I almost choked.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: How does everyone know already?
Dwight: Know what?
Meredith: Pam failed art school.
Dwight: Oh, well, doesn't surprise me.
Jim: Excuse me?
Dwight: Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Phyllis: Dwight, stop it.
Stanley: Dwight.
Dwight: What? Are there two suns?
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.
Jan: Well, actually, I, uh, I had a tub birth. And it was really, really quite amazing.
Angela: You gave birth in a tub?
Jan: Yeah, it's a really nice transition from womb to world, you know, kind of like a big womb.
Kelly: Um, so you're in the tub with everything?
Jan: Oh, yeah, the afterbirth floats, yeah.
Creed: Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.
Jan: Oh no, it's actually really hygienic, Creed.
Creed: Ugh.
Stanley: I'm done.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stanley: I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They always complain. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don't get sore, too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?
 • Rating: Unrated

Holly: Can I have everyone's attention? Excuse me, may I have everyone's attention, please. We need to finish the ethics seminar.
Andy: No way, lady.
Kevin: It's a trap.
Holly: Everyone, please, I just need your signatures to show corporate that I gave you the training.
Meredith: Don't sign anything.
Michael: Ok, everybody listen up. If you are not in that conference room in two minutes I am going to kill you.
Stanley: It's a quarter to five and I have started to gather my things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The truth is, I have lost a little of my speed, a little of my fire. Here's what I used to look like. Look at those biceps. We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.
 • Rating: Unrated

Meredith: What should we do with all these leftovers?
Stanley: I'm taking the dumplings for my wife.
Dwight: No, no, no. This is your last meal. There will be no leftovers.
Creed: I can bring these to my shelter.
 • Rating: Unrated

Toby: Hey, Stanley...
Stanley: Hmm?
Toby: I want to introduce you to...
Michael: [watching from office] Toby's replacement. Ugh. Wow.
Dwight: So what do we know about her?
Michael: Well, we know that Toby thinks she'll be great. So, strike one, I hate her already.
Dwight: I hate her too.
Michael: Why do you hate her?
Dwight: Because she... stinks... with her... ways... and her... head.
Michael: You know, Dwight, sometimes... I don't know, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Dwight: Would that be such a bad thing?
Michael: Yeah! It would! Just have a thought. Have an original thought. Although, I will agree that her head is weird.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: What.
Michael: I, uh, see that you... gave me that form that I asked you to give me, Stanley the manly, so thank you for that. I guess we are back to normal.
Stanley: What are you talking about?
Michael: Well, you know, uh, the thing that you said earlier, that you didn't mean, um, and that I forgive you for. The whole thing's silly, isn't it? Friends don't need to apologize to friends as far as I'm concerned, so we are cool.
Stanley: I am not going to apologize to you.
 • Rating: Unrated

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