The Office

Stanley Hudson Quotes (Page 5)

Stanley: I am trying to be more optimistic in life. I've got what, 20 or 30 years left. And my family history says I have less. Now, the old Stanley Hudson would have found something wrong this actress. But that is no way to live life. Look at this healthy sexy pretty strong young woman. C'mon people! She is hot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Each side will have three minutes to prepare opening arguments. Topic: Hillary Swank is attractive.
Entire office: Hot!
Kevin: The debate is whether she is hot.
Stanley: What difference does it make? Attractive, beautiful, hot, we're talking about the same thing here.
Kevin: Huge difference. A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.
Andy: Okay, TMI.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phyllis: You've got no taste Stanley Hudson.
Stanley: Oh, I do.
Andy: What are you guys talking about?
Stanley: Some actress, whether she's hot.
Andy: Who is the gal in question?
Phyllis: Hillary Swank.
Creed: Ah, Hillary Swank.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Stanley: Eh...
Phyllis: I'm sorry. It's the largest one I have.
Stanley: I will not be the big guy in the tiny hat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Okay.
Kevin: Michael, I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that's okay.
Michael: Oh, thank you my dear.
Kelly: Wait, Michael! Let me open the door for you.
Michael: Oh, well, chivalry is not dead after all. Okay...
Stanley: There he is!
Michael: There he is! Hello, hello!
Phyllis: Hello.
Michael: Hello! Good to see you! Good to see you.
Jim: Oh!
Michael: Mm! [gives Jim a high five] Yeah!
Pam: There's that ass!
Michael: Hey hey! Yeah! Unh!
Pam: Woo! Yeah. Aw, don't take it away!
Michael: Oh... ah, I almost choked.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: How does everyone know already?
Dwight: Know what?
Meredith: Pam failed art school.
Dwight: Oh, well, doesn't surprise me.
Jim: Excuse me?
Dwight: Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Phyllis: Dwight, stop it.
Stanley: Dwight.
Dwight: What? Are there two suns?
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.
Jan: Well, actually, I, uh, I had a tub birth. And it was really, really quite amazing.
Angela: You gave birth in a tub?
Jan: Yeah, it's a really nice transition from womb to world, you know, kind of like a big womb.
Kelly: Um, so you're in the tub with everything?
Jan: Oh, yeah, the afterbirth floats, yeah.
Creed: Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.
Jan: Oh no, it's actually really hygienic, Creed.
Creed: Ugh.
Stanley: I'm done.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stanley: I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They always complain. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don't get sore, too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Holly: Can I have everyone's attention? Excuse me, may I have everyone's attention, please. We need to finish the ethics seminar.
Andy: No way, lady.
Kevin: It's a trap.
Holly: Everyone, please, I just need your signatures to show corporate that I gave you the training.
Meredith: Don't sign anything.
Michael: Ok, everybody listen up. If you are not in that conference room in two minutes I am going to kill you.
Stanley: It's a quarter to five and I have started to gather my things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The truth is, I have lost a little of my speed, a little of my fire. Here's what I used to look like. Look at those biceps. We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.
 • Rating: Unrated

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