Stewie Griffin Quotes
Stewie: I think a lot of people were looking at me like I was really attractive which makes me think I'm going to grow up to be really good looking.
Brian: What part of that statement is supposed to lure me into a conversation?
Stewie: I talk to you about wet tennis balls!
I can't help feeling this would be sadder if she weren't heavy....
Darth Vader/Stewie: Luke.
Darth Vader/Stewie: Wait, Luke?
Darth Vader/Stewie: Luke Skywalker?
Darth Vader/Stewie: Oh my god, this is so silly. I was trying to call Luke Adams, his number is right next to yours in my helmet.
Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and son! Y'know? I mean it doesn't have to be as father and son, it can be just as, a-y'know- as two really close guys who just happen to be men y'know, just, two good-lookin' guys sharin' a cramped office runnin' the galaxy together-y'know just, gettin' the job done y'know- maybe we, maybe we do it occasionally but its not weird y'know cause we're just, two guys with ragin' goals y'know? I mean its not even about the doin' it part- but thats a part of it- but its not- its not the whole thing.Darth Vader/Stewie
Darth Vader/Stewie: Oh, come on, Luke, come join the Dark Side! It's really cool!
Luke/Chris: Well I don't know. Whose on it?
Darth Vader/Stewie: Well um... there's me, the Emperor. This guy Scott,. you'll meet him he's awesome...
It's gotta be a trainwreck down there. Just an absolute casserole of nonsense.
Brian: I don't like strawberry yogurt.
Stewie: Picky for someone who eats from a plastic bowl from the floor every day.
Brian: It's by Charles Dickens.
I like what comes out of Lois' breasts better, but I like this too.
Brian: Try what? I practically french kissed your butt.
Stewie: Yeah there was no practically about it.
Stewie: Got some dessert for you.
Brian: You got to be kidding me.
Stewie: Come on, it's just throw up. You like throw up.
Brian: I do. I do like throw up.
Brian: You invented a time machine, but you can't get us out of a safe?
Stewie: Yeah, that's science. I'm not Houdini.