It's gotta be a trainwreck down there. Just an absolute casserole of nonsense.

Brian: I don't like strawberry yogurt.
Stewie: Picky for someone who eats from a plastic bowl from the floor every day.

Brian: It's by Charles Dickens.
Stewie: Giggity.

I like what comes out of Lois' breasts better, but I like this too.

Brian: Try what? I practically french kissed your butt.
Stewie: Yeah there was no practically about it.

Stewie: Got some dessert for you.
Brian: You got to be kidding me.
Stewie: Come on, it's just throw up. You like throw up.
Brian: I do. I do like throw up.

Brian: You invented a time machine, but you can't get us out of a safe?
Stewie: Yeah, that's science. I'm not Houdini.

Brian: Actually it's called Brian and Stewie.
Stewie: Really? Shouldn't it be person before animal, like Turner & Hooch?
Brian: I don't think that movie is a good example... of anything.

When you jumped through my ceiling, you let an owl in. I know they're supposed to be wise, but all it did was shriek and poop out half digested mice.

Yeah that's right. You buy your kid ridiculously homoerotic dolls and then ask what happened. Yep, your gay son is on you, buddy. Explain that one to your god.

A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transvestite! Which ... begins with the letter T.

Julie: I'm not a lesbian.
Stewie [as Karina]: I'm not either.
Brian: What are you exactly?

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Bill Clinton: All right, are you ready for another round of N.A.F.T.A
Lois Griffin: What does N.A.F.T.A. mean?
Bill Clinton: 'Nother Afternoon of F****** That Ass!