Lois: Stewie, why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell!

Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb

Stewie: Well, well mother, we meet again.
Lois: Stewie, I thought I tucked you in an hour ago.
Stewie: Not tightly enough it would seem, and now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarchal tyranny!

Lois: When you were born the doctor said you were the happiest looking baby he'd ever seen.
Stewie: But, of course. That was my victory day. The fruition of my deeply-laid plans to escape from that cursed ovarian bastille!

You know mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Ugggh! This tastes like Ani DiFranco after a bike ride!

Quagmire (referencing an awful Korean Taco)