Stewie: Are they not seein' this?
Brian: I know, it's kinda creepy. It's almost like he's dating Lois.
Stewie: Yeah - looks like somebody's getting a little Oedipussy.
Brian: Can we say that?
Stewie: Just did.

"Kevin Smith because he's too fat to ride on the plane!"

"1,2,3,4 I'm dancing from my vagina.
1,2,3,4 I'm grinding, I'm grinding
Orgasm-eyes, Orgasm-eyes, and we're done."

"Batman, Batman, they built a lazy susan for your nuclear car. That's something they consider conversation-worthy."

"Hey anything is possible right? I once found the Batcave."

Stewie: "Brian, if I take up roller derby what od you think my name should be? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze, or Quo Hag?"
Brian: "How about Harlot O'Scara?"
Stewie: "You dick, that's awesome."

"No worries. Now I can work at Hot Topic and make people sick as I ring up their purchases."

"All right, I guess this is the night b*tches die."

Stewie: "Brian, is this our vacation?"
Brian: "Yea."
Stewie: "Oh...are we trash?"
Brian: "Kinda."

Omg, everyone's already tweeting "Stewie Just Said That."

You know I'm still young enough that you can drop me off at the fire station, no questions asked.

Yes, it's nice to eat in a sea of white faces, isn't it?

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Announcer: We now return to Morgan Freeman starring in "The Narrator."
Morgan Freeman: Ever since I was a little boy, people have enjoyed the sound of my voice. And I figured you either get busy talkin or you get busy dyin'. The work is really quite easy. Why even right now I'm just sitting in a chair, sipping some tea and reading from a script. The wall is covered in something that resembles egg crates except they're soft and spongy, like a twinkie...like a twinkie.