Stewie: Are they not seein' this?
Brian: I know, it's kinda creepy. It's almost like he's dating Lois.
Stewie: Yeah - looks like somebody's getting a little Oedipussy.
Brian: Can we say that?
Stewie: Just did.

"Kevin Smith because he's too fat to ride on the plane!"

"1,2,3,4 I'm dancing from my vagina.
1,2,3,4 I'm grinding, I'm grinding
Orgasm-eyes, Orgasm-eyes, and we're done."

"Batman, Batman, they built a lazy susan for your nuclear car. That's something they consider conversation-worthy."

"Hey anything is possible right? I once found the Batcave."

Stewie: "Brian, if I take up roller derby what od you think my name should be? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze, or Quo Hag?"
Brian: "How about Harlot O'Scara?"
Stewie: "You dick, that's awesome."

"No worries. Now I can work at Hot Topic and make people sick as I ring up their purchases."

"All right, I guess this is the night b*tches die."

Stewie: "Brian, is this our vacation?"
Brian: "Yea."
Stewie: "Oh...are we trash?"
Brian: "Kinda."

Omg, everyone's already tweeting "Stewie Just Said That."

You know I'm still young enough that you can drop me off at the fire station, no questions asked.

Yes, it's nice to eat in a sea of white faces, isn't it?

Family Guy Quotes

Chris: Mr. Woods. How do I get a girl to like me?
James Woods: Oh Chris, I'm your father, call me "dad".
Chris: Um, okay, dad. How do I get a girl to like me?
James Woods: Well, there's a number of ways Chris. Uh, for example, Kate Moss and I had the same coke supplier, and he threw a punch social one day, and we both happened to be there, and the next thing you know, we're both in the back room, slam bang. I went bareback, babe.
Chris: Wow, she sounds like a class act.
James Woods: No, not at all Chris. No, not at all.

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)