Hey, buddy. Get a haircut? It looks awful.

I'm gonna send this [hair] to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, so they can use it to plug the holes in their trailer.

Sue: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Superintendent: You're fired.

I need the two of you to escort me to me hyperbaric chamber, as I have glitter in my eyes.

This is America, we speak English here.

I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.

You're welcome to sing The Sound of Silence in your hotel room. Right now.

I might buy a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby's ass.

You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hail with enormous amounts of product. Today, it just looks like you put lard in it.

I'm gonna stop you right there Becky. Have you ever heard of menopause?

I'm pretty sure that barista is onto me. Now I'm Ann Coulter. As you may have noticed, I'm coming slightly unhinged.

Will: Who's to say everything I do is 100% on the ball?
Sue: No one would say that.

Glee Quotes

I'm gonna miss all of you. I love you guys.

Puck

Relationships are a lot like flowers. If you find the right seed, put it in good soil, give it water and sunlight, bam. Perfect bud. And then comes winter and the flower dies. But if you tend that garden, spring will come along and that flower will bloom again.

Finn