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Glee

I bribed Will Schuester's landlord to bug his apartment with baby monitors under his couch. And in his bedroom.

I never understood how hard it is to get laughed at, especially in slow motion.

What's that smell? It's coffee. It's usually masked by the smell of fear.

Figgins: I cannot have these shenanigans at this school.
Sue: He cannot have these shenanigans at this school!

As soon as I figure out the difference between slander and libel, I'm suing you.

Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated, so the gym is the only place with clean air.

Sue: You're just like every teenage girl in America: obsessed with vanity. Before you know it, you'll be leaving baggies of vomit in your parents' closet.

I haven't had a solid meal since 1987.

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