Becky: I don't want to hurt your feelings, Coach.
Sue: Oh, I don't have feelings, Becky.

Miley Cyrus. And the genital flapping dance known as twerking that makes men and women alike look like overgrown, constipated toddlers. This vulgar, sexually explicit excuse for a dance craze has brought American culture to a new low, and that's why tonight, western Ohio, I solemnly pledge to end the pandemic of twerking once and for all. Not only will I outlaw twerking at McKinley High, but I've submitted a bill to the Ohio State Legislature banning twerking in Ohio public schools. And Hannah Montana can go back to naked straddling the three-ton wrecking ball she was clearly upsold at Home Depot as the tiny cinder block room she's elected to demolish is only about 12 square feet and already has a wall missing.

This nation faces a far more insidious foe

Oh, please let it be another Journey song! There's got to be another one left!

Before Katy versus Gaga it was Jackie versus Marilyn, Betty versus Veronica. Mary Todd Lincoln versus Martha Washington. Why must we always choose between female pop archetypes? Why can't we just be them all!?

He was such a good guy. I'll never get to tell him. There's no less here. There's no happy ending. There's just nothing. He's just gone. He would have made an excellent teacher.

I was horrible to that kid. And I'm utterly destroyed that he died thinking I didn't like him.

Sue: I don't care for your attitude.
Santana: Well I don't give a hot wet monkey's ass what you care for.

Santana: You wanted that memorial gone because you're such a cold-hearted bitch.
Sue: What did you just call me?
Santana: A miserable, self-centered bitch who has spent every waking minute of the past three years trying to make our lives miserable. I'm officially over it.

I'm grieving. And I greive by insulting those who mean the most to me. It's just a coincidence that it's also what I do when I'm not grieving.

And now here's the moment you've all been waiting for because your lives are all so devoid of meaning something like this seems very important.

Hey there, Buttchin! Ahh, Samgelina Jolie!

As soon as she returns from her suspension, I plan on installing Becky as my secretary. And I will refer to her as my "Beckretary."

Glee Quotes

You know, a great big fat person once stood on this stage and told a group of a dozen or so nerds in hideous disco outfits that glee, by its very definition, is about opening yourself up to joy. Now it's no secret that for a long time I thought that was a load of hooey. As far as I could see the glee club was nothing but a place where a bunch of cowardly losers go to sing their troubles away and delude themselves into thinking that they live in a world that cares one iota about their hopes and dreams, totally divorced from the harsh reality that in the real world there's not much more to hope for than disappointment, heartbreak, and failure. And you know what. I was exactly right. Thats exactly what glee club is. But I was wrong about the cowardly part. What I finally realized, now that I'm well into my late thirties, it takes a lot of bravery to look around you and see the world not as it is but as it should be. A world where the quarterback becomes best friends with the gay kid, and the girl with the big nose ends up on Broadway. Finding the courage to open up your heart and sing about it. That's what glee club is. And for the longest time I thought that was silly, and now I think it's just about the bravest thing that anyone could do.

Sue

Glee Club is officially over. Thank you guys. It’s been an honor.

Will