Glee
Fridays 8:00 PM on FOXSue Sylvester Quotes
Will: Wait, wait, so you're not firing us?
Sue: Not if you win a national championship, I'm not. However, if you do fail to win at nationals, I will fire you and you'll be forced to build creepy relationships with teenagers on your own time.
America, your prayers have been answered. Sue Sylvester is back at McKinley.
Blaine: I'll admit. I rejoined the Cheerios with the sole plan of destroying you from the inside.
Sue: Admirable.
Dear journal, I speak to you now not as Sue Sylvester, world class coach and educatrix, but as Sue Sylvester, freelance champion.
At the risk of stepping out of character, I brought donuts to calm everyone's frayed nerves.
[to Blaine] Well, I hope you're ready for some form-fitting polyester, gay Clark Kent from season one of Smallville. Because it looks like you're going to be the bottom of my Cheerios pyramid after all.
It's time to perfect my Nicki Minaj where the hell did that come from cuckoo for cocoa puffs crazy pants threat.
Blaine: I'm not rejoining the Cheerios.
Sue: Oh you most certainly are. Or something unfortunate will most likely be happening to you extremely soon.
Today is the day we honor St. Valentine, a man publicly beheaded for defying his government, by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive.
Emma: Um, Sue, I feel really scared. I feel really overwhelmed. I feel like I can't think straight. I'm just really, really worried that this isn't going to work.
Sue: Well, of course it isn't going to work. You're a weird bird lady with a hollow pelvis and OCD. And Will Schuester is a weepy man-child whose greatest joy in life is singing with children. And his best friend? 19.
Santana: Look, please don't tell my mom.
Sue: Oh, I can't. I don't speak Spanish.
[to Santana] What is with you glee club ex-pats? Don't you have jobs. You have to have some source of income so you can pay the staff of scientists who service your teleporters that you all clearly on since you're constantly showing up here.
