Superintendent Chalmers Quotes (Page 2)
Season 21, Episode 7: "Rednecks and Broomsticks"
Skinner: It will be featured in the fifth grade play of the Crucible.
Superintendent Chalmers: Good seats still available and by that I mean seats in the back where you can fall asleep.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 6: "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words"
Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a bit of a crossword head myself. They help me relax after a day of having to deal with... Skinner!
Principal Skinner: You called?
Superintendent Chalmers: Made reference.
Principal Skinner: My mistake.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 1: "Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes"
(Principal Skinner treats Superintendent Chalmers to dinner at his home.)
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, those string beans were cooked to perfection. After 20 years, I am finally starting to like you.
Principal Skinner: Just wait for dessert, sir. I made it with you in mind.
Superintendent Chalmers: Outstanding. I'll just shut my eyes and let you place it before me.
(Selma's erotic cake accidentally flies in through the window and lands on the table in front of Chalmers and Skinner and the two recoil in horror when they see it.)
Agnes: (from upstairs) Seymour! What's going on? I'm coming down there!
Superintendent Chalmers: Quick! We'll have to eat from each end. We'll know we're safe when our lips meet in the middle.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 18: "Any Given Sundance"
Superintendent Chalmers: (about the Springfield Creative Arts School)The whole school is made up of modeling clay! Every afternoon, they re-shape it just to get my goat!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 13: "The Debarted"
(After the Diet Coke and Mentos explosion.)
Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner! (Pause) Skinner?
Principal Skinner: I'm alright, sir.
Superintendent Chalmers: Don't ever scare me like that again.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Superintendent Chalmers: We're gonna put Bart Simpson away for a long, long time.
Principal Skinner: By law, the most we can give him is a 10-day suspension.
Superintendent Chalmers: That's long to a kid.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 18, Episode 14: "Yokel Chords"
Skinner: Simpson, I know you're behind this! Well, you are going to get some counseling from the school psychologist!
School Psychologist: DARK STANLEY'S GONNA EAT MY BRAINS!
Superintendent Chalmers: Or from a qualified professional.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 19: "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"
Superintendent Chalmers: Leopold?
(Leopold approaches the podium. The students gasp at his threatening presence)
Leopold: All right you little punks, pick up your freakin' ears, because I'm only gonna say this once. From now on, things are gonna be very, very different around here... (Students gasp, he quickly changes to a cheerful demeanor) ...with your new principal, Ned Flanders!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, I have had it; I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children.
Principal Skinner: Oh, now I really think the children's appearance--
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour! You are in very, very big trouble.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Superintendent Chalmers: You're fired!
Principal Skinner: I'm sorry, did... did you just call me a liar?
Superintendent Chalmers: No, I said you were fired.
Principal Skinner: Oh. That's much worse.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 24