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Jeff: I took a bullet for ya.
Susie: Well it was a bike, technically.

Larry: I am going to go do something nice, right now.
Susie: It's about time.

Susie: Ya know Larry, I think you're taking the wrong tactic with these women. I really do. I think you have to present who you reall are.
Larry: I did present who I really was; a phony, a fraud, a prevaricator. I presented who I was.

Don't impose your desires on my whole cuisine.

You know what the best thing about going to New York is? I'm not gonna see your face for three months.

What are you fucking kidding me? You think we're gonna have a nice divorce if we ever get divorced. No fucking way. I'm taking you for everything you have Mister. I'm taking your balls, and I'm thumbtacking them to the wall.

Susie: Wandering Elk, whatever the fuck your name is, you were paid already.
Wandering Bear: You don't need to talk like that. You're a better person than that.
Larry: No, she's not.

Susie: Jeffrey, who's there?
Jeff: Larry.
Susie: (hushed) Carmelita, put Oscar in the bedroom, and close the door.

(sees an apparent boner on Larry after Oscar muzzled his crotch) Enjoying the dog, Larry?

Larry: He said "no gifts."
Susie: Nobody means that. You took that seriously?

Larry: (on Susie's sweatshirts) Not quite my cup of tea, but, you know, it's nice.
Susie: Fuck you, and fuck your tea!
Larry: What?
Susie: Whoever said you had taste, Mr. Hushpuppy-rumpled-suit look?

Cheryl: (to no one in particular) You Goddamn fucking son of a bitch!
Susie: (thinking she's being addressed) Fuck you, you car wash cunt. I had a dental appointment!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?

Cheryl: Well, I think you should write a letter of apology to him.
Larry: "Dear prick, why are you such a prick?"