Ted Buckland Quotes
Ted: (Playfully punching the Janitor) Hey there, little boy blue!
Janitor: Don't punch the new uni'.
Ted: (Still punching the Janitor) Little boy blue, blow your horn... (laughs and leaves)
Janitor: ...he didn't stop.
Janitor: You gave me a cursed uniform!
Dr. Kelso: Ha, ha, ha, it's not cursed, its simple psychology. I chose Robin's-Egg blue because it has a calming effect on people & I knew it would be the thorn in your paw. Other colours evoke different reactions, for example bright orange has been found to provoke hostility.
Ted: Doctor Kelso, I wanna thank you again for the tie.
(Ted is thumped in the arm by Todd)
Todd: Fist Five!
Ted: OWW! It's the third time today.
J.D.: Ted, you should probably sit down. You're looking a little purple.
Ted: I know my own body.
He collapses.
Elliot: Oh, get this. He doesn't even have erectile dysfunction. I mean, why would you take those drugs if you didn't need them?
Dr. Cox: What's this? Why, it's a dummy-gram. And it's addressed to you, Barbie. Let's read it and find out what's in there. "You are disturbingly naive. Stop. Almost fifty percent of ED drugs are taken by recreational users. Stop."
Elliot: That can't be true.
Dr. Cox: Everyone. Would you go ahead and close your eyes for a second? Great. Now, would all the men in the room who've tried Mr. Happy pills go ahead and grab your fork and bang your glass.
(The cafeteria is filled with the sound of banging)
Dr. Cox: Thank you!
(The banging stops, except for one lone man)
Elliot: Ted! Everyone stopped.
Ted: Oh. Dammit!
J.D.: Ted, what are you doing?
Ted: I like to do stomach crunches after lunch.
J.D.: Ted, lunch was four hours ago.
Ted: Yep, I wasted most of my Tuesday.
J.D.: It's Wednesday.
Ted: Aw, man! I missed the Gilmore Girls!
Janitor: Sorry guys, I can't go clubbing tonight. Daddy's got a date.
Ted: Aw man! I ironed my going out hair!
Ted: You want to get Elliot, get in good with her best friend.
Janitor: Who's Elliot?
Ted: Trust me. The way I got my girlfriend in junior high was by getting her best friend to like me.
Janitor: And how'd you do that?
Ted: I posed as her dad so she could rent a car. I lost my hair in eighth grade.
Todd: Tough break five.
Come on in. I've got a huge king bed. It'll be nice to have a buffer between me and my mom.
Ted: Turk and Carla's wedding - we made out?
Doug: So did we.
Danni: Was it at the same time? Because I have a habit of doing that at people's weddings.
Doug: Smooth maneuver, hoover. You scared her off.
Ted: You were the one who was embarrassingly forward!
Ted: Here's the key to Kelso's office.
Dr. Cox: And here's Nurse Tisdale's phone number.
