How I Met Your Mother

Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 13)

Robin: See my show?
Ted: I meant to watch it. I was just so busy with the being asleep thing, it took eight hours right down the drain.
 • Rating: Unrated

Student: You just wrote "Maggie" on the board?
Ted: Oh. That? No. It stands for: Make ... adjustments ... go ... get it energized!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Student: We get you for the full hour.
Ted: Oh come on. Who really wants to sit here and listen to me blab about bridges for an hour? [hands go up; Ted is moved] Really?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: [on phone] Ten minutes and the window's closed.
Ted: What? Ten minutes?!
Barney: Because we're bros.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: I forgot what it feels like to chase the real thing but I think I'm ready again.
Barney: Yeah...let me tell you were I'm at.. I want to have sex with a girl so I can take off these overalls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: I've been in love with her for five years.
Ted: I've been in love with her for twelve years.
Barney: I've been in these overalls for an hour and a half.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
Barney: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: You know how everyone has that guy or girl that no matter what happens, you know will be perfect for you.
Marshall: Lily.
Robin: Mike Shacks.
Barney: That girl over there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: Seriously, you take it.
Ted: You sure?
Robin: Slapsolutely.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: This slap was supposed to be a joyous gift. We've let it come between us.
Robin: Oh my God, you're right. This once pure fruit has turned into a poison slapple.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!