Ted Mosby Quotes
Barney: I need you to help me pick the suit I'm gonna wear when I walk down the aisle.
Ted: Ok, Robin walks down the aisle you wait at the end of it.
Barney: Ok then the suit I'll be wearing when they all stand as I enter the chapel.
Ted: Also her.
I finally found the one Marshall. Her name, is Bacon.
No no no! Ted do not give me that look.
Marshall
Ted; A mountain of food, a ticking clock? Come on you live for this stuff.
Robin: No! We are not doing Weekend at Barney's!
Ted: But that's the dream!
You guys see the irony here. The only person who could possibly get Barney back on his feet is Barney.
You know what's weird Stella? Not seeing Star Wars until you're 30.
I must have heard your mother's version of Le Vie en Rose a million times over the years. Every night when she'd tuck you in for instance. That performance, that first night I ever heard her sing. That one will always be my favorite.
Barney: I've had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.
Ted: I asked if you wear shoulder pads.
Ted: Uh Barney who's taller, me or you?
Barney: You're taller, I wear lifts in all my shoes.
I love Barney, but I'm not going to jail for him.
Barney: The international dateline, that's right new theory. What's that you ask?
Ted: Nobody did
Barney: I'll now address your query.
It would be nice, just once, not to have to go stag to Coin-Con.
