Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 21)
Season 4, Episode 2: "The Best Burger in New York"
Lily: This burger is so good, its like Christmas in my mouth. Meat Christmas.
Ted: Its like an angel from heaven landed in the kitchen of McClaren's... where the chef killed it and ran it through the meat grinder.
Barney: I love this burger so much I want to sew my ass shut
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 1: "Do I Know You?"
Ted [about Star Wars]: It's just a movie.
[Marshall and Ted watch..]
Ted: Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I can't marry her.
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ted: Wanna watch it again?
Marshall: Yes, I do.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 20: "Miracles"
Stella: So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.
Ted: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy! Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.
Stella: Actually, she's marrying him. I just wanted your honest opinion.
Ted: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 19: "Everything Must Go"
Ted: Hey, how was your day?
Lily: Today I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow.
Ted: A rainbow?! Sounds like that bitch had it coming
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 18: "Rebound Bro"
Ted: Unexpected number of testicles?
Stella: It happens. I knew a guy in med school, we used to joke he was one ball from getting walked
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Ted: We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door.
Stella: Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 17: "The Goat"
Ted [about sleeping with Robin]: By the way, my mother is coming to visit next week. Maybe you would like to nail her too!?
Barney: Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?
Ted: I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore
• Rating: Unrated
Ted: Hey Barney, I'm get rid of some of my old stuff; do you want my X-Box?
Barney: [gasps in horror] She has a name, Ted! Just what are you accusing me of?
Ted: Uh, liking video games
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 15: "The Chain of Screaming"
Ted: Gee, is that ice cream cone big enough?
Robin: Uhhh, it's delicious enough
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 13: "Ten Sessions"
Stella: Ah the butterfly tramp stamp, my bread and butter. So I'm guessing that the real stories involves a bad break up and some booze, unless it's a gang tattoo in which case I thinks time to, find a new gang.
Ted: Ah no, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, then a few weeks went by and all of the sudden
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 412
