Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 24)
Season 3, Episode 3: "Third Wheel"
Ted: What? We agreed! I suited up!
Barney: You take too long to get ready.
Ted: What are you talking about? I got the low-maintenance, just-rolled-out-of-bed look.
Marshall: Which takes about an hour and a half of waxing, tugging and teasing to acheive.
Barney: And then he starts on his hair. Ace!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 2: "We're Not From Here"
Barney: Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
Robin: My journey was transformative and I reassert my committment to both the aforementioned paramour & the philosophies he espouses.
Gael: What are we talking of? Baseball?
Barney: It's all gonna return to masticate you in the glutials. Support my hypothesis, Ted.
Ted: I'm just jubilant my former paramour is jubilant.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Barney [looking at Robin's travel photos]: Whoa. Are you topless? Ted, check this out.
Ted: Seen 'em.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 1: "Wait for It"
Ted: Oh my God! I have a tattoo!
Barney: That's not a tattoo. That, dear boy, is a tramp stamp.
Ted: Tramp stamp?
Barney: You know, a hoe tag, ass antlers, a Panama City license plate
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ted: Have fun on your double date.
Lily: For the last time, I'm sorry, there was a lull.
[flashback to the bar]
Gael: Then, we lay on the beach and counted the stars.
Lily: Do you wanna have dinner with me - us?
[flash back to present]
Marshall: There was no lull. You just think he's incredibly hot.
Lily: No, I don't! Not incredibly.
• Rating: Unrated
Ted: I don't go to your country and try to seduce women with my sexy accent.
Barney: Of course not, Persian nightclub owner
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gael: Gael.
Ted: I'm sorry, so it's Gayle?
Gael: Gael.
Barney: ...Kyle?
Gael: Gael.
Marshall: ...Girl?
Robin: It's pronounced Guy-el.
Gael: It means joyful. That is why I live my life joyfully, and give to others. Especially those less fortunate than I.
Ted: I'm sorry, so it's Gayle?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 22: "Something Blue"
Ted: So, Argentina?
Robin: Yes, Argentina.
Ted: Why is this the first I'm hearing about Argentina?
Robin: Um, American schools suck at geography.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 21: "Something Borrowed"
Ted: Dude... you shaved your fricking head?
Marshall: Yeah! Yeah, but it's good. I'll just shave it all off. What a great solution! Just be bald, cos it's cool, right? Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan, Britney Spea- [looks in mirror] Oh, God, what did I do!? How could you let me shave my head!?
Ted: What!?
Marshall: You're the worst best man ever! I hate you!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 19: "Bachelor Party"
Barney: Alright, fine, the stripper at Stewart's Bachelor Party was a 15.
Ted: She was 15?!?!
Barney: A 15...like in blackjack.
Ted: As in, not sure whether you'd hit it?
Barney: Exactly!
Ted: Nice.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 412
