How I Met Your Mother

Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 31)

Ted: So how was your first prom?
Robin: You tell me. I hated my dress. My date got wasted and puked on me. There was a huge fight. And I kissed a girl.
Ted: So basically, it was a prom
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: It'll be cool. I'll tell you what, we'll make a game out of it. First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize.
Ted: Do I look like I'm four? ... All right, what kind of prize are we talking about?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: We'll just sneak in.
Marshall: We are not sneaking in to a high school prom.
Lily: Yes we are, it's the only way.
Ted: You are getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Look, I shouldn't go.
Marshall: You should definitely go, look, it's a chance to show her you are still friends and that you support her.
Barney: Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter, or even better, triple threat, hotter and bigger boobs!
Ted: That's only two.
Barney: Count again!!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Mary [Whispering to Ted]: You know that scene in Empire when they lower that helmet onto Darth Vader's head? [pointing at Sandy Rivers] Do you think that is how Sandy puts his hair on in the morning?
Ted: You just insulted someone I hate by referencing something that I love. Damn you just got even hotter
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: Hey.
Robin: Hey. Mary seems nice. Have you kissed her yet? Or are you waiting until you are in a serious relationship with someone else?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: I feel like Richard Gere.
Mary: You're not shy about your looks, are you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Do it! Come on Ted, do it! It's one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.
Ted: What? Sleep with a prostitute?
Barney: No, lose your virginity! What Up!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: So Sandy, what do you do? Oh, wait, I know what you do. You're the guy who reads the paper in the morning.
Sandy Rivers: You got me. What do you do, Ted?
Ted: Oh same thing as you. I read the paper every morning. But then after that, I finish my coffee and go to my real job as an architect, where I make an actual contribution to the world. I'm just kidding. Love your show. You're terrific.
Sandy Rivers: Thanks. I never tire of hearing that
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: I should just skip this thing entirely. Robin is still pissed at me after, you know.
Barney: You lied and said you were broken up with Victoria before you actually were, so you could try and nail Robin and you end up losing both girls in one night.
Ted: Yes, that's what I meant by "you know".
 • Rating: Unrated

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