Ted Mosby Quotes
Barney: Solid plan, my little friend.
Ted: We're the same height
- Permalink: Solid plan, my little friend. We're the same height
Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?
Ted: OK, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these "Hey, what's up?" She says "Hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then I say "Well, make yourself at home" and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here," I say, like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"
- Permalink: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up? OK, ...
Ted: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever
- Permalink: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her sch...
Lily: Look who I ran into.
Ted: Since when do you guys know each other?
Robin: Since about, here. [points to top of glass]
- Permalink: Look who I ran into. Since when do you guys know each other? ...
Robin: I think I like your olive theory.
Ted: I think I like your new French horn.
Robin: I think I like your nose.
Ted: I think I'm in love with you
- Permalink: I think I like your olive theory. I think I like your new Fren...
Ted: You know what? I'm done being single, I'm not good at it. Look, obviously you can't tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can't. I'll tell you something though, if a woman, not you, just some hypothetical woman, were to bear with me through all this, I think I'd make a damn good husband, because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser...
Robin: Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.
Ted: Oh, I've got references
- Permalink: You know what? I'm done being single, I'm not good at it. Look, ...
Robin: I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday. Some guy is attempting to make the world's biggest pancake. Guess who's covering it?
Ted: That's gonna' take a week?
Robin: Yeah, he's gonna eat it too. It's another record.
- Permalink: I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday. Some guy is attemptin...
Ted: So, you're a reporter?
Robin: Sorta, I do those fluff stories at the end of the show, like... Monkey can play a ukulele. I'm hoping for some bigger stories.
Ted: Bigger... like, a Gorilla with an upright bass? Sorry, you're very pretty
- Permalink: So, you're a reporter? Sorta, I do those fluff stories at the ...
Ted: She didn't even give me the signal!
Barney: What, is she gonna bat her eyes at you in morse code? [bats eyes] Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don't get the signal!
[Barney spontaneously kisses Marshall]
Barney: Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall: No! [to Lily] I didn't, I swear!
- Permalink: She didn't even give me the signal! What, is she gonna bat her...