Tess Vargas Quotes
Tess: You never give yourself credit JT, you that? You always sells yourself short -- don't, you stood up for me. That's you, not some crazy ass medicine.
JT: Well, I didn't like the way they were treating you.
JT: So we're not sexually mismatched?
Tess: Not that I'm aware of. Do you think we are?
JT: No. I'm good.
JT: Heather wants penis straws? She actually wrote that in her email.
Tess: Yeah. Apparently they're a bachelorette party staple.
And yeah you just got back together, but you're not some fragile newbie couple. You're epic.
Tess: Pointing fingers doesn't help.
JT: Oh but dropping me off a block away so nobody knows we slept together does?
Wait, you were dreaming about Vincent while you were sleeping with Gabe?
Tess: Oh woah wait. Did you guys have like a relationship conversation?
Cat: Yes.
Gabe: Can we not do this right now?
J.T.: Muirfield didn't choose him randomly. I put his name on the list. Yeah. Me. His best friend.
Tess: You can’t beat yourself up without patting yourself on the back, too.
I wouldn't put my life on hold for her or go in hiding for ten years like you've done. That’s not loyalty. That’s something else.
OK. One beast at a time. First we'll deal with your father, then little miss glowy eyes.
J.T.: Tess, you don't have to deflect. I'm not gonna to do it again.
Tess: I'm genuinely excited about the bells.
J.T.: OK. But I'm just saying, I have zero expectations. I took advantage.
Tess: No you didn't.
J.T.: I didn't?
Tess: Maybe a little? No. But if I didn't want you kiss me, you wouldn't have because I am intimidating. So we're all good. Just - no one
needs to know.
J.T.: Good. It never happened.
Tess: It's just, I dread this holiday so much. It's the part where my family grills me about my single status and there are no gifts to offset the humiliation.
J.T.: Then don't go. Tell them you're working, which you are. We can boycott the holidays together.
Tess: Just you and me?
J.T.: And some beer and some pizza and some creepy guy's voice.
Tess: Can we start drinking now?
J.T.: Absolutely. This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever! Non-Thanksgiving.
