Devil: Yeah, would you look at that, huh? Makes me sick. All the CO2 spewing in the air, polluting our planet, choking our beautiful Mother Earth. Did you know that global warming is the biggest threat facing us today?
Sam: Really? You care about global warming?
Devil: Yes, I care. Because it could destroy our planet. And if that happens, that jackass upstairs can count all the casualties as innocents. That means I won't get any of the souls. Zero. So yeah, man, I'm goin' green

You know, in the old days I used to get the souls that ate shrimp. Can you imagine how unsatisfying that was?

In truth, I have a small favor to ask and by favor I mean you don't have a choice

Devil: Now, I suggest that you grab that portrait tonight. If it stays there too long, Fitzgerald will show up and reclaim it, and more people will die.
Sam: Since when did you care if people got killed?
Devil: I don't. Good call.

Devil: You, on the other hand, are a conundrum. For all your whining and complaining, and lack of fashion sense, you always get the job done. You want to do the right thing. I hate that about you. But I guess that's the quality that makes you so effective.
Sam: Are you giving me a compliment?
Devil: No, mostly I just hate that about you

Am I detecting a little sibling rivalry here? Don't worry, Sammy, there's no real competition. I'm always going to like him a little better than I like you

Sammy, punishing souls is like raising children. They need consistency. And you can't reward bad behavior. They step out of line, you just have to give them a timeout in the Closet of Abysmal Agony

Sam: You are a terrible person, seriously.
Devil: That's my job, man. You know, tempting the weak. Culling the herd. you know the drill

Well, I'll try to watch your back, buddy. But you know, you got to remember I'm a busy guy. It's an election year

Devil [to Sam]
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