The Janitor Quotes
Janitor: Well, it-it - you know the only reason I was wearing the suit at all was because our, uh, a cappella band was... practicing.
Elliot: Oh, that's great! What's your band's name?
Janitor: Uh... It's, uh, Hibbleton. Yeah, yeah. And, um, I don't think it's going too far to say that we're the best hospital employee band in town.
Worthless Peons: Oh, really?
Janitor: Hey, I'll, uh, join you for a cup of mud.
Elliot: Great! Meet me downstairs in five minutes.
Janitor: I'll be there. Just let me wash this, uh, glue off my hands.
J.D.: What was he gluing?
He picks his hands up off the keyboard, only to have it stick.
J.D.: Not again.
Oh, God... Okay, I don't ask for much, just a little help with a stain every now and then. I'd like to be able to communicate with animals... But right now, oh boy, we need a miracle. Hibbleton - whatever that means - on three.
Janitor: Yeah! Well, you win! Heh.
Ted's Band: Woo.
Elliot: Your-your band didn't even sing yet.
Ted's Band: Aww.
Janitor: There's no need. You win!
Ted's Band: Woo.
Janitor: I don't know, this whole Blonde Doctor situation has me mortified. I've gathered the brain trust here to help me figure a way out of this.
Randall: Uh-oh, bro. There she is.
Troy: You want me to hobble her?
Janitor: That's not hobbling, that's-that's... poking.
Janitor: Ah! I wanna see that engagement ring.
Jeweler: That costs ten thousand dollars.
Janitor: I got twelve bucks.
Janitor: Hey, buddy. I need you to reconsider Blonde Doctor. And I'm gonna tell you why. See, I'm the future Mr. Blonde Doctor? And I kinda need this to happen so that I can, uh - hey, over here - I need this to happen so that I can just hang out around the house and, you know, bake bread or... gab across the fence with neighbor Marge. Nice lady. Polish, I think. Doesn't matter, I'm not prejudice.
Interviewer: What the hell are you talking about?
Janitor: Here's the thing: I need you to take this can of orange soda, turn, smile, and give Blonde Doctor a big thumb's up! Or, I'm gonna take the same orange soda, follow you down to the parking lot, and smash your head in with it.
Carla: Okay! I put interview guy in the lounge and told him that Elliot was with a patient. Now. How we gonna fix this thing?
Janitor: You're okay. The guy wanted an orange soda, right? We bring him an orange soda, maybe the whole thing goes away.
Carla: Okay, here's the plan: Jordan and I will take care of interview guy. Soft-Scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want.
Janitor: I will.
Hello. I'm Dr. Reid. Dr. Elliot Reid. I'm a doctor.
Janitor: Summers, I think we can save your foot.
Elliot: It's his heart.
Janitor: I know that. We're concerned about your ticker.
He starts cleaning a smudge on the window
Elliot: Ahem!
Janitor: Ah, yes. Yes yes. Well, your paper script looks good. But, I'm going to have to listen to that heart of yours... Well, I'm afraid I was wrong. We're going to have to take that foot.
J.D.'s Narration: No matter how much we like to pretend otherwise, strong confident women will always have the power over us. Whether they're fighting for respect, fighting for their man, or even just fighting for the hell of it. Strong women make all guys feel the same way.
The three women walking down the hall, past the guys who turn into little boys.
Little Cox: Jordan looks mad, I should go.
Little Turk: I have to pick up Carla's dry-cleaning.
Janitor: Well, what do we have here?
Little J.D.: Oh, no.
Janitor: I heard from a reliable source that you want to live in dumpster. I can arrange that. Yep, I know just the right neighborhood.
Carla: Hey, Night School! Mr. Corman followed us home last night!
Turk: How'd you get my cell phone number?
Janitor: Ehh, once you got somebody's drivers license and a urine sample, you get just about anything. How do you flunk eighth grade gym?
Carla: You better stop messing with my husband.
Janitor: You-tell him to stop messing with my walls!
Carla: You did this?
Turk: Baby, you know you're my world.
Carla: I'm out.
Janitor: I flunked gym, too. Didn't like the shorts.
