Scrubs

The Janitor Quotes (Page 32)

Janitor: Girl problems?
J.D.: How'd you know?
Janitor: You look like you got problems, you're a girl, hence girl problems. Watch your nails. [closes counter]
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.'s narration: Oh, man, she's beautiful. I wish I was that piece of bacon. Wait a second. I am that piece of bacon!
J.D.: Hell yeah!
Janitor: You mind not staring at me while I'm eating? I hate it.
J.D.: But, I'm not, I was...
Janitor: What am I doing right now?
J.D.: Eating.
Janitor: What are you doing?
J.D.: Staring...
Janitor: Okay. There. Now no one gets to eat it! Ya happy?
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Hey, do you know what Alex Hanson looks like?
Doug: He's okay.
Laverne: I don't know. I don't look at the ladies.
Dr. Kelso: Young man, I've been married for over three decades. I would've gone there, though; oh, yes, I would've.
Janitor: Who cares? No one'll ever love you.
Ted: I don't find her pretty; but since my wife left, when I look at a woman, I find it hard to see past the evil.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Oh. Look at that. Well, you should put it back down before someone slips and falls.
Janitor: Oh, is that what I should do. Good. Because I make most of my decisions based on your opinion. You know what, I'm thinking of splitting up with the wife - maybe you could mull that one over, get back to me? We can powwow?
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: What did you do?
J.D.: She called me "Bambi" in front of everyone. My name is not Bambi!
Janitor: It's Scooter!
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: When I saw that it was missing, did you not think I'd come to you?
J.D.: I don't know what you're talking about.
Janitor: Oh. So you're gonna play it that way, huh? Touche
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: How's it going?
Janitor: I'm 37 years old, and I'm a janitor; how do you think it's going?
J.D.: Now, there is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
Janitor: Really? Thank you. You...you've turned my life around. I'm gonna have to go tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living; and that comes straight from our hero, Dr. Whoozitz...Dr. Nothin'. No, seriously, come on. You can come over to my humble house and point out things that are cheap
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D: Maybe there's a penny stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was just making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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