Favorite Tom Haverford Quotes
Tom: Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal if breakfast cereal.
Donna: I love breakfast cereal.
Tom: You went on a vacation and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?!
Leslie: Tom, Muncie is a lovely city.
Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger. But I'm a gold digger, digger.
She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy you can just tell people she's crazy. "Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up." "Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy." That's what they always do on Entourage.
Tom: Is that bacon on your turkey leg?
Ron: They call it a Swanson.
Jean Ralphio: Let's seal this devil's three-way right here, right now. Step one, we buy into this club. Step two, we roll over to the club either in your Mercedes Benz or my pre-owned Acura Legend. Step three, I dagger you on the dance floor. Just bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce now all the ladies sayin' bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce. What do you say, sexy?
Donna: I'm out.
Tom: Why?
Donna: I hate that guy.
Tom: This thing is a mess.
Carl: We used to have three cars actually. The first one got pushed into the creek by some kids. The second one raccoons got onto. There was urine everywhere. And the third one was recently stolen.
Tom: What's this one?
Carl: This is the second one. The raccoon piss one.
Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.
Hmm, a disappointingly good idea from Jerry.
You are wearing the hell out of that suit, sir. Banana two-button. We should talk later.
Tom: I think cave sex is insane.
Leslie: Why?
Tom: Because of the echoes and the humidity.
Joe: Sewage! Let's roll.
Tom: Damn! How does sewage always get the hottest interns?
