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I'm fix six and three-quarters.

Tom: Got enough leg room back there?
Detlef: Yeah, you don't have to sit so far up.
Tom: Yeah, I do.

Tom: Does Pawnee Cable Access even have hair and makeup?
Leslie: Well, they have a communal lipstick in a box of combs.

Leslie: You're never going to believe who I got. People are going to freak out.
Tom: Rihanna.
Leslie: No.
Tom: Dr. Oz.
Leslie: Nope, you're never going to ask.
Tom: Justin Bieber.
Leslie: No. Ex-Indiana Pacer. Small forward Detlef Schrempf.
Tom: THE Detlef Schrempf?

I can't make it to the telethon tonight because I have no interest in being there.

Jerry: No, Leslie. Please. Tonight's kind of a big night. You know, all my kids are away...
Tom: Gross! No! That's Jerry's sex night. That ruins sex and tonight.

I should be the one that's upset. It's supposed to be me and Ann. Or me and Jessica. Or Ann and Jessica with me watching.

Jessica: Where I come from, there's a saying: "What's done is done."
Leslie: That's a saying everywhere.
Tom: I've never heard it before and I think it's a great saying.

Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger. But I'm a gold digger, digger.

Jessica Wicks! Hey, boo. Are you aging in reverse? 'Cause you look barely legal.

Tom: Hold up. Former beauty queen Jessica Wicks?
Bill: Yes.
Tom: I'm Tom Haverford. I'm going to be running point on this, Bill.

Leslie: OK, so I have everything I need, right? I have a fresh cup of coffee, comfy fur-lined boots.
Tom: I'm going to need those boots back by the end of the day.
Leslie: Yeah, no problem. They're actually a little narrow for me.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 217 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy
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