Tom Haverford Quotes
Jim: I love Great lakes wine.
Tom: You can have the wine. I'm wanna take that cheese and do terrible things to it.
Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to both of us.
Wendy: How did Leslie meet her boyfriend?
Tom: She used to read him books at the senior center.
Beth: Wow. How old is he?
Tom: He's 6, but he has Benjamin Button disease.
Leslie: Tom Haverford. Boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
Tom: That's kind of a weird way to describe me.
You know, normally I don't agree with Leslie about anything, but this book is awesome.
Every now and then, we have these little gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time, I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll Up. She, one time, made out with the water delivery guy. In her office. On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman. Not Batgirl; Batman. And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside. And it is my favorite thing in the world.
