Ben: Tom, we got you an autographed picture of your personal hero.
Tom: No way! Scott Caan from Hawaii 5-0!

Tom: Leslie, do you want to say some stuff to Ben now?
Leslie: My first draft of my vows, that I wrote the day after we got engaged clocked in around 70 pages.

We open from Will Smith's cinematic classic, Hitch.

Love fades away. But things...things are forever.

It smells like some vomit took a dump in here.

I've been a baller since birth, son. Now I'm an athlete.

Did I do basketball?

I can't keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian's husband and his friends.

The year is 2018. America is thriving under President Nick Cannon. And tomorrow, Chris Treagor is getting married.

Chris: To Tom Haverford! Wooo!
Tom: And to my wife Rihanna! We truly did find love in a hopeless place.

Things magazine says it's the next big thing!

It's cold outside and I can't wear mittens because they're not flattering to my hands!

Parks & Rec Quotes

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Ron

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron