Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

I just want to hear the doctor say that Jerry had a fart attack! Is that so much to ask?

Seriously, did you eat farts for lunch?

Wikipedia is mankind's greatest invention. You can learn about anything. We all know Ray J. We all know he's a singer. He's Brandy's brother. And he was in that classic sex tape with Kim Kardashian. But, did you also know he's Snoop Dogg's cousin AND he was in the 1996 Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks? Suddenly, you're on the Mars Attacks page!

Okay, I start everyday by hitting up Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. Sometimes I like to throw in Linkedin. For the profession shorties.

[via Tweet] Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #Unbreakable #WhatsMrGlassuptothesedays #whynosequel?

Tom: I don't want to put words in your mouth, but case dismissed.
Lawyer: And you were texting at the time, correct?
Tom: How dare you sir? I was tweeting!

Take the easy way out. I always do! It's easy!

Tom: Mmm. You can really taste the ignorance.
Councilman Milton: It's pronounced 'anchovies'.

Well, DDS doesn't stand for Dumb Dumb Stupid.

He's just playing hard ball. Let me tell you how it's going to go
down. In a few minutes, we'll walk in there, we'll give him our
demands, and then BAM -- I start crying.

And we all know the better looking a park is, the more attention it will get from lady parks that want to have sex with it.

Tom: What do you know? You don't care about things.
April: Yes I do. I care about Andy and Champion ... and I want Leslie to win. And I like sleeping.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 217 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron
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