Tom: Mmm. You can really taste the ignorance.
Councilman Milton: It's pronounced 'anchovies'.

Well, DDS doesn't stand for Dumb Dumb Stupid.

He's just playing hard ball. Let me tell you how it's going to go
down. In a few minutes, we'll walk in there, we'll give him our
demands, and then BAM -- I start crying.

And we all know the better looking a park is, the more attention it will get from lady parks that want to have sex with it.

Tom: What do you know? You don't care about things.
April: Yes I do. I care about Andy and Champion ... and I want Leslie to win. And I like sleeping.

Ann: Uh oh, I know that look.
Tom: She's got the crazy eyes.

Tom: I feel like you're embarrassed by me.
Ann: That is accurate.

Chris: Rethink our visual brand, take these words, and make something amazing!
Tom: So you're saying you want me to choose a new font?
Chris: Yes, essentially I'd like you to choose a new font.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, this is a whole never level of nerd.

At the risk bragging one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me smiling and taking partial credit.

Tom: Ben, Leslie hired my company to get her that sticker. You're the one that told me businesses need "clients" to get "money."
Ben: I was the first one to tell you that?

Tom: It's almost too easy.
Ben: I can hear you.
Tom: I know you can Ben, that's how easy it is.

Parks & Rec Quotes

I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine.

Mark

You know why tonight is so much fun? Because everyone's so gay. And they know how to have fun, and the dancing ... everyone is just who they are and who they are is just stone cold gay.

Leslie