Tom Tucker Quotes (Page 4)
Season 5, Episode 1: "Stewie Loves Lois"
Tom Tucker: Our top story tonight: A woman loses her sex drive after a $125 dinner at Alfredo's.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 27: "Untitled Griffin Family History"
Black Diane: Coming up this half hour: Flies on your face. How many is too many?
Black Tom: But first: That orange thing in the sky, and what you can do to please it.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 20: "Patriot Games"
Tom Tucker: Coming up next, America's hottest new curse word: "kleeman". We'll tell you what it means right after this.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 18: " The Father, The Son, and The Holy Fonz"
Diane: Also in the news some trouble at Saint Phillips church.
Tom: That's right Diane, a shipment of tainted holy water could put some local babies in jeopardy.
Diane: Sounds dangerous Tom, Be careful next time you're at confession telling the priest about cheating on your wife with that Filipino drag queen.
Tom: Well at least you're in no danger Diane since you only visit church to leave your self delivered, unwashed, half dead newborns on the back step. Coming up how to turn your unwanted change into foldin' money.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 14: "PTV"
Tom Tucker: Bob Hope briefly came back to life today; only to die in a tragic motorcycle accident.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Peter: You're on TV, so I came to you for advice.
Tom Tucker: Peter, I'm flattered that you came to me and we'll be back after these messages...and we're back. Peter, if you want to control content, you'll have to start your own TV station.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 12: "Perfect Castaway"
Tom Tucker: Coming up next, A pig who refuses to eat jews? After this.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 3: "Blind Ambition"
Tom: We go live with the local blind man. Sir, how did you suddenly summon the courage to save your friend from that burning building?
Peter: That freaking place was on fire?!
Tom: And there you have it. Coming up next, "Watch me shave."
• Rating: Unrated
Tom Tucker: In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record for "Most Drugs Ever Done by a Single Human Being" died today; he was attacked by a pack of wild dogs he thought he saw.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 1: "North by North Quahog"
Tom Tucker: And now over to Ollie Williams for the blackie punishment forecast, Ollie?
Ollie: HE GON' GET IT!
Tom Tucker: Thanks Ollie!
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 49