[regarding his ankle bracelet alcohol monitor] Maybe I'll just compromise - go to the party, cut off my foot and drink all I want!

I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! I'm just kidding, I know he doesn't care what humans do.

Tracy

C.C.: Nobody can know we're together. Not even your friend Tracy Jordan out there.
Jack: I don't think you have to worry about Tracy.
Tracy: Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?

Tracy: Yeah, I don't have a daughter.
Jack: Let's have a casting session on Monday.

This is what I do. I drop "truth bombs."

Jack: What are you doing?
Tracy: Payback. The way you treated me. You used me.
Jack: God, its like dating Katie Couric all over again. I didn't use you. I created a situation that could have been mutually beneficial and you blew it.

Hells yes Liz Lemon. And I had plans. Me and Angie rented the penthouse at the SoHo Grand where we will drink wine and pleasure each other.

Tracy: I need a hundred thousand dollars, or I'm gonna lose both my houses.
Jack: Tracy, I don't understand. You've starred in 14 films; you don't have any money saved?
Tracy: No, I lost all of it.
Jack: Really? Who's your money manager?
Tracy: Grizz.
Grizz: Worldcom, man. Worldcom.

Jack: Look, Tracy, I can't just give you money. But what I can do is show you how you can earn all the money you need. You must know Arsenio.
Tracy: Hall or Billingham?
Jack: You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?
Tracy: No.

Liz: I'm not firing Josh.
Tracy: You always take his side.
[cut to flashback]
Liz: Tracy, stop tasering him!
[cut to present]
Tracy: See? I need to be respected, Liz Lemon.

Tracy: I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for biggest mirror.
Frank: He's totally right.

I am a stabbing robot.

30 Rock Quotes

Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.

Kenneth

I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.

Jack