My ringtone is the chicken dance. If I answer it, I won't hear the whole song!

You can take our freedom, unless you take our lives!

Remember when I offended stubborn people? That took forever to sort out.

Jenna: How do nice people dress?
Tracy: Socks on their hands, no belt, roller skates.

From now on everyone has to refer to me as the Gentleman Formerly Known as Rectum.

Liz: You're a 42 year old man.
Tracy: No I'm not. I took a real age test. It said I'm dead.

Hey guys. It's me Tracy, the black guy from work.

Tracy: How many times have I come over and painted your apartment?
Liz: Three, and by the way stop doing that.

Oh my God, Liz? It's Tracy...from work.

Tracy: Was Dot Com standing that gay?
Kenneth: Um no sir, he was not.

Tracy: JMo how long would it take for your hair to grow back?
Jenna: It depends. Do you have access to horse seaman?
Tracy: You know I do.

That's crazy. A man named Elia. That's a giraffe's name!

30 Rock Quotes

Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.

Kenneth

I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.

Jack