Tracy: Doctor Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM pin code?
Dr. Spaceman: Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be. I'll let you know as soon as we have the results.
Tracy: I already know the results, the kid is not mine!
Dr. Spaceman: Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the '60s.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Frank: Yo Tray, we got a problem.
Tracy: [as Jefferson] Pray who be this Tracy Jordan thou speakest of?
Frank: Uh, President Jefferson, we got a problem.
Tracy: Speakest!
Frank: That horse ate your wig.
Tracy: Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings!
Lutz: Or we could probably just go get a new wig?
Tracy: A-ha! I like you, young man; you shall run my university.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: [as Sally Hemings] I'm with child!
Tracy: [as Thomas Jefferson] What?
Tracy: [as Sally Hemings] Will you free me and make me your wife?
Tracy: [as Thomas Jefferson] Um... I'm gonna have to get back to you on that.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Therapist: I think we're just doing Good Times now.
Tracy: Now do the white dude that my moms left my dad for.
Jack (in stuffed-up voice): Now see hear Tracy, it's impolite to slurp one's soup.
Tracy: Whoa, no need to resort to ugly stereotypes.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: No, Dad! Don't die! I love you Dad! I don't wanna dogfight no more!
Jack (normal voice): Tracy that's it! That's it!
Tracy (to therapist): Thank you for showing me there really is love in my family after all. And I need to stay the hell away from them. Donaghy, you're the only family I need, Jackie D.
Jack: You got that right, Tre. You know it's too bad you didn't know Howard Cossell when you were growing up because I had that one in my pocket the whole time.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: Hey everybody, I'm back from doing whatever Liz Lemon said!
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: [sees Liz in wedding dress] Oh, no! Did a Korean person die?
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: You can be a freaky-deeky and do data entry!
Liz: Sure.
Tracy: Or how about court reporting?
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dr. Spaceman: Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be. I'll let you know as soon as we have the results.
Tracy: I already know the results, the kid is not mine!
Dr. Spaceman: Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the '60s.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Frank: Yo Tray, we got a problem.
Tracy: [as Jefferson] Pray who be this Tracy Jordan thou speakest of?
Frank: Uh, President Jefferson, we got a problem.
Tracy: Speakest!
Frank: That horse ate your wig.
Tracy: Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings!
Lutz: Or we could probably just go get a new wig?
Tracy: A-ha! I like you, young man; you shall run my university.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: [as Sally Hemings] I'm with child!
Tracy: [as Thomas Jefferson] What?
Tracy: [as Sally Hemings] Will you free me and make me your wife?
Tracy: [as Thomas Jefferson] Um... I'm gonna have to get back to you on that.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful Black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Therapist: I think we're just doing Good Times now.
Tracy: Now do the white dude that my moms left my dad for.
Jack (in stuffed-up voice): Now see hear Tracy, it's impolite to slurp one's soup.
Tracy: Whoa, no need to resort to ugly stereotypes.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: No, Dad! Don't die! I love you Dad! I don't wanna dogfight no more!
Jack (normal voice): Tracy that's it! That's it!
Tracy (to therapist): Thank you for showing me there really is love in my family after all. And I need to stay the hell away from them. Donaghy, you're the only family I need, Jackie D.
Jack: You got that right, Tre. You know it's too bad you didn't know Howard Cossell when you were growing up because I had that one in my pocket the whole time.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: Hey everybody, I'm back from doing whatever Liz Lemon said!
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: [sees Liz in wedding dress] Oh, no! Did a Korean person die?
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: You can be a freaky-deeky and do data entry!
Liz: Sure.
Tracy: Or how about court reporting?
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
• Show: 30 Rock • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 89
