Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Travis Cobb Quotes
Andy [to Bobby]: We get along so well, our sons should hang out
Travis: Mr. Torres, I'm 16 years older than your son
Travis: Good bye, I love you dad
Jules: Oh my god, did he just say I love you?
Bobby: I know, pretty gay right?
Travis: As a grown man you think it's a good idea to store most of your earthly possessions in the woods?
Bobby: Calm down, what's a squirrel gonna do with a blender?
Travis: Hey mom look what Donny drew. He mostly draws snakes doing horrible things to women, though this one looks consensual
Jules: She does't look happy, Travis
Jules [with her shirt up]: Hey Trav!
Travis: Shirt down, then hey Trav
Jules [pulls down shirt]: Hey Trav!
Travis: Too, late scarred for life
Jules: These used to feed you!
Travis: Hey, Josh, let's make a real effort to wear shirts around each other, okay?
Josh: Sure, do you think your mom like me?
Travis: I just woke up dude
Travis: Well, Dad. I'll always be here. I love you
Bobby: Swing and a miss, Trav. Swing and a miss.
Laurie: Dale's not perfect, I mean it's not cool he forges Dan Marino's autograph for a living, but I think he really cares about me, don't you?
Travis: That depends, does he have your name tattooed anywhere on his body?
Laurie: He says he does but I haven't been able to find it
Grayson: Your mom said, "no girls."
Kylie: It's okay, I'll just get my stuff.
Travis: Do you know what her stuff is? It's flavored lip gloss and an over-sizes t-shirt for when she gets, quote, tired and snuggly.
I'm about to bring Kylie in so I need you all to act like normal human beings. I know it's going to be hard but I can help. Mrs. Torres, Kylie doesn't have an eating disorder, she runs cross country, so think of a new opening question. Mr. Torres, I don't care how much you eat, let's keep our pants buttoned. Laurie, your breasts are bigger than hers. There I said it, you don't need to tell her. Neighbor guy, I see you brought your fruity little guitar, let's keep that holstered. Mom, you have multiple problem areas so when it doubt just say to yourself that's a bad idea. Dad, I think we both know it's best if you don't say anything.
Jules [after spin class]: Hey Travis, take me upstairs and put me in the bath.
Travis: That's a sentence I was hoping not to hear until you were seventy.
Jules: I'm guessing the boy I flashed goes to your school
Travis: Yes he does
Jules: Is he single? ... Kidding! Why don't you ever laugh at my jokes?
Travis: Because they make me sad
