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I wish my mouth was farther away from my brain. I wish my brain had its own brain.

Troy: Is it black Michael Chiklis?
Annie: No!
Pierce: Is it white George Foreman
Britta: You guys are talking about the same person. He's biracial, his name is David and he's a human being.

I checked all Pierce's wardrobes for portals to magical worlds. All I found was something called Emmanuelle in Space on laser disc. I couldn't watch it but it sounded sexy. Laser. Disc.

Who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?

Annie: Weird night huh?
Troy: Yeah. Alcohol makes people sad. It's like the Lifetime movies of beverages.

Troy: I just spent the last two years thinking that you guys knew more than me about life, and I just found out you guys are just as dumb as me.
Britta: Da doi.
Jeff: Yeah. Da doi.

Yes. I want to bathe in manhood.

Jeff: You were born 21 years ago.
Troy: Which would make me 20, because everyone is 10 for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for every...one. Mom how many lies have I been living!?

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

Latvian Independence Parade. Don't look at me, they had the proper permits.

Enjoy eating fiber and watching The Mentalist.

Troy [to Britta]

Do they find thoughts in our butts? I knew I should've read that book.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 150 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]