I wanna see if those wiener dogs are born that way, or if they start off normal and then get wiener.

Troy: I'm a dracula.
Abed: You mean a vampire?
Troy: I don't need to know which dracula I am to be a dracula. Nerd.

Ice cream is everywhere, but never on your thighs.

Troy [on heaven, rapping]

There is a time and a place for subtlety, and that time was before Scary Movie.

Pierce has got space madness or he's just old or something.

We are 40 light years outside of the buttermilk nebula, although it's possible that ... yeah, this is a sticker.

You've gone from precious to annoying.

Troy [to Annie]

Because if someone comes up here, Kanye and Kumar get taken to jail. You get taken to dinner.

Did you know that go-gurt is just yogurt?

Troy: I'm just sharing what you say.
Pierce: Yeah? Well, what if I share all the stuff you say? He thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls.
Troy: There's no way to disprove that. Have you ever seen a cat penis?

Troy: I think I got half of it, which got me through the half I didn't.
Abed: Like the first season of The Wire.

Someone make her a dude, so I can punch her.

Community Quotes

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.

Jeff: You were born 21 years ago.
Troy: Which would make me 20, because everyone is 10 for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for every...one. Mom how many lies have I been living!?